


All That I Am

by ZsGurl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Injured Levi, Smut, The Rumbling, after the rumbling, flashback Erwin/OC relationship, more smut, on the ship to Odiha, picking up the pieces, reiner needs love, veteran friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27790408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZsGurl/pseuds/ZsGurl
Summary: As the Hizuru ship steams to Odiha and the remnants of the Survey Corps and the Warriors try to come up with a way to stop Eren and his plans, Reiner rediscovers someone who accepts him, sins and all. Will it be enough to curb his self-sacrificing/suicidal tendencies?**This picks up around Chapter 129 of the manga, so may be some spoilers if you haven't read that far.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 35





	1. The Way They Were

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a vehicle to showcase some smut involving Reiner. I touch on, but don't get too deep, into Reiner's personal issues and the relationship issues the other Scouts have with him.
> 
> So I am taking a little liberty with the manga. I am making it take several days for the boat to get to Odiha, because I need things to happen. :P Also assuming they were able to get some of their gear and packs on the boat (Pieck maybe? I mean, she was carrying an injured Levi, so....). And I am pretending I didn't see Reiner and Annie with the new ODM gear before they got on the boat. I'm sure I've taken other liberties, unknowingly.
> 
> *******EDIT: I had to change the title of this piece as I inadvertently used the same title as a super-talented writer had for her fantastic Reiner/Mikasa fanfic. Check out the amazing works of TheNightDuchess if you get a chance!!

Leigh entered the small room where Annie and Reiner had been placed to recover. She could feel the hum of the engines of the ship as it headed away from the shore toward Odiha. The bloodshed back on the docks was fresh in her mind and she staggered a little then leaned against the doorframe for support. She covered her mouth with her hands as she could feel the bile rise in her throat at the horror of killing her fellow comrades, mostly kids she had helped train.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at the two occupants of the murky room. There was only a little light in the small room, coming from a lantern on the table between the two cots. The two titan shifters were unconscious, lying on the cots as steam rose from their many wounds. In her mind, she could still see the way their titans stood guard, using their bodies as shields from the Jeagerists’ guns and thunder spears. The Armored Titan and the Female Titan, two forms from her nightmares, taking hit after hit protecting their ragtag group until they couldn’t move anymore. Leigh gripped her head in her hands as she bent over double, trying to reconcile her feelings. Working with Reiner and Annie these last few days, she thought she had overcome her anger and moved on, understanding that they had been brainwashed children sent by a twisted government to commit mass murder. She still believed that, intellectually. But seeing their titan forms again brought back so many horrific memories. She still woke up occasionally in a cold sweat, remembering the final battle with the Armored Titan in Shiganshina, while Erwin was riding to his death against the Beast Titan. And she had been part of the crew that retrieved the mangled bodies of her fallen comrades in the Special Ops Squad after the Female Titan had taken them out during that failed expedition. Gods, the blood and gore.

Looking at them now, she noted that Reiner definitely looked worse. But then she recalled how he had stepped in front of Annie to take the brunt of the thunder spears. Heroic or suicidal? Both seemed to apply to the young man whose blood was dripping on the floor under his cot, the puddle gently steaming in the gloomy room. What was left of the Survey Corps were happy to leave these two alone, unforgiving of their traitorous actions. They were more accepting of Pieck, Falco, and even Gabi. But the fact that Reiner and Annie had once been one of them, trained with them and fought beside them, cut deep into the heart of what the Survey Corps stood for. Leigh got it. She understood their anger. However, there was a bigger picture here and Leigh decided their small band needed to work together if they had even the slightest chance of success. Resolved, she spun on her heel and left the dingy room in search of supplies.

She returned fifteen minutes later and set down her armload of supplies. Even knowing the blood and gore would evaporate over time and disappear, Leigh felt she had to do something for the two shifters, so she started wiping Annie’s face with a wet cloth, cleaning away the blood as best she could. As she worked, she noted how pretty Annie was when she wasn’t being withdrawn and sullen. Unconscious, her face appeared so young. She was also smaller than she looked, seemingly lost under the thin army blanket thrown over her slight frame. Leigh watched in fascination as her superficial wounds were closing up and her breathing got easier. She was rinsing out her rag when she heard the door open and Gabi looked in.

“How’s Reiner?” the girl asked as her eyes sought out his unconscious form. Leigh knew she had been in the next room sitting with Pieck as they watched over Falco. He had had a rough time for his first transformation and Leigh could tell the girl was worried for her friend as well as her cousin.

She smiled reassuringly. “He’ll be fine. I’ve seen him recover from much worse.” She paused for a brief moment, recognizing the irony of that statement. “I’ll sit here with them both to make sure they wake up okay.”

Gabi smiled shyly, for once looking her young age. Her large eyes were luminous in the lamplight. It was hard to reconcile this sweet girl with the fanatical soldier who had killed Sasha. Leigh felt a pang for the loss of the quirky girl from the 104th. But they had traveled so far beyond blame and finger-pointing, thanks to Eren and his genocidal mission. And Leigh had a new understanding for these young Warriors and their lost childhood. They were victims as much as the inhabitants of Paradis were. Gabi waggled her fingers in a small wave at Leigh before retreating back out the door.

Deciding there was nothing else to be done for Annie, Leigh moved over to Reiner’s cot. His wounds were deeper and more severe, but the blood had already stopped dripping and the puddle under his cot was starting to evaporate. Like she had mentioned to Gabi, these wounds were not as bad as some she had seen him take in the past, inflicted by the Survey Corps, herself included, as they repeatedly struggled to take down the Armored Titan. She gently wiped the blood from his cheek, noticing how his face had matured since he was a young trainee at seventeen. Rinsing the blood from her cloth in the bowl she had brought, she returned to wipe at his strong jaw, smiling at the thin goatee he grew, now becoming obscured by a couple day’s growth of beard, the dark blond whiskers rough under her hand. He had grown into a handsome man. Unconscious, his face was relaxed and peaceful, without the weight of guilt and responsibility. Even the space between his brows had relaxed its permanent furrow. She briefly touched her fingers to the spot, gently smoothing the warm skin there. Lost in her musings, Leigh failed to realize that his breathing had stabilized and his wounds were closing more rapidly. So she was surprised when she turned back from rinsing her cloth again to be greeted by a pair of piercing gold eyes.

“You’re awake. Do you need anything?” Leigh asked him as she ran the cloth over a bit of blood still on his forehead.

Reiner closed his eyes at the feel of the warm cloth over his skin. He couldn’t recall anyone ever tending him, post battle. Warriors were usually just settled in their barracks and left to heal on their own until they were ready to fight again. He could still feel her gentle hand as it had stroked along his jaw before he opened his eyes. He was very aware of the heat of her thigh where it pressed against his shoulder as she sat next to him on the small cot.

“Could I have some water, please,” he croaked as he opened his eyes again. Healing always made him dehydrated.

Leigh’s face lit up as she reached for the large canteen on the little table. “I thought you might want that. I figured you guys would be thirsty, with all the steam you emit.” With that, she poured him a generous amount into a metal cup.

Struggling to lean up on one elbow, Reiner winced and shook out his other arm before reaching for the cup. “Thank you. How is Annie?” He looked over at the still form lying in the other cot, concern drawing his brows together. Leigh noted that the furrow was back. She gave a small sigh.

“She’s fine, healing nicely. I’m actually surprised you are conscious before her. Your wounds were much worse.”

“I’m used to it,” he said matter of factly, groaning slightly as he sat up and carefully swung his legs over the side of the cot. He needed to put some space between himself and Leigh. “I appreciate your concern, Lieutenant Strahan.”

Leigh smiled at him. “Call me Leigh. It seems ridiculous for us to stay formal, when there are so few of us left. Besides, I think you now outrank me, Captain.”

At her gentle teasing, he swung his gaze back to her smiling face and felt his breath catch. Gods, she was still beautiful. He remembered being infatuated with her when he was a young cadet. She was a total badass member of the Special Operations Squad, trained by Captain Levi himself. She was an expert horseman, skilled with a blade, and especially good at hand to hand combat. He remembered his first time sparring with her. In spite of his obvious advantage in size and strength, she had kicked his ass. And it had turned him on.

But she had been the Commander’s woman, so even an arrogant asshole like his younger self knew to keep his hands off. However, the Commander was no longer here. He let his gaze linger on her for a moment, wondering, while she wrung out her cloth before he dropped his eyes to the empty cup in his hand. Leigh turned back in time to notice his cup was empty and reached over to take it to refill. When she handed it back to him, their fingers touched, sending a frisson of electricity along his nerve endings.

She must have felt it too as she jerked her hand away as if burned, then clumsily started putting up her supplies. Reiner watched her over the rim of his cup as he took another long drink. Her long dark hair was in a ponytail, revealing her soft nape. For some reason, Reiner couldn’t take his eyes off that tender spot, imagined putting his lips there, tasting her. Heat bloomed throughout his body, and he felt his heart rate accelerate, blood pumping heavily in his veins. Thank gods he was still healing or he would be having a more obvious reaction to his wayward thoughts.

Leigh couldn’t believe her reaction to the simple touch of his fingers. It had been so long she had forgotten what it felt like: desire. Heat pooled low in her belly, and she fiddled with putting up her supplies to collect herself. Desire. Hunger. She couldn’t believe she was feeling these things again, after all this time. _For Reiner_. Gods, she helped train him when he was a teenager. But it was not a teenager sitting next to her now, rather a man. Full grown. A man with unfathomable power and strength running through his veins. A man who had been at war most of his life, and forced to do unspeakable things. A man whose broad shoulders bore the weight of too much guilt and too many responsibilities. She took a deep breath to get a grip on herself and turned back to Reiner. She caught the heat in his gaze as he watched her, before he lowered his eyes back to his cup. The desire in her belly was turning to liquid and definitely moving lower. She took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair to try to control her thoughts.

“I brought you some clothes to change into, if you wanted. I didn’t know what shape your clothes were usually in after shifting. I apologize for rummaging around in your pack. I just grabbed the first thing I found.” She tried to disguise the breathless note in her voice with a slight cough as she cleared her throat.

Reiner could only nod as he bowed his head at her considerate action, unused to anyone looking after his comfort. The titan blood and gore evaporated off his clothes eventually, but he had soaked his shirt through several times over in sweat from his human body’s exertions while in titan form. In truth, he felt disgusting and that probably help dampen his ardor even more than his healing body. As he began to work on the buttons to his filthy shirt, a wry smile twisted his lips as he wondered how she could possibly tolerate sitting this close to him. He really needed a shower.

Leigh turned to rummage around in the bag she had brought, searching for the set of clothes she found in Reiner’s pack. Turning back to him with a clean shirt in hand, she froze as Reiner was painfully attempting to slide his shirt off his shoulders. Even wincing and moving slowly did not detract from the perfection of his body. Smooth tan skin slid over hard muscles. Everywhere. Leigh was mesmerized.

The sound of his breath hissing between his teeth shook her out of her stupor as she realized how much he was struggling to get his shirt off.

“You should really just lay back down until you heal some more,” she admonished as she rose up to help him, gripping the back collar of his shirt and gently pulling it down his arms. She avoided touching him as much as possible, but realized what a mistake it was getting this close to him. She could smell his sweat mixed with his own spicy scent and feel the incredible heat rolling off his body. The raw masculine power of him was about to bring her to her knees. Perhaps if it hadn’t been so long for her she wouldn’t be having this visceral reaction to him, she tried to justify to herself.

“I’ll be fine,” he replied softly as he eased his body back to lean against the wall his cot was pressed against, closing his eyes for a moment.

Leigh took advantage of his inattention to gaze upon him as he sat on the cot, leaning his head back against the wall. He really had grown into a beautiful man, she thought, as she admired his square jaw, with his sharp nose and chiseled lips. Her gaze followed the strong column of his throat where she saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, down to his broad shoulders, padded with muscle. Veins roped around the defined muscles of his forearms and biceps. The hard planes of his chest were lightly dusted with dark gold hair that matched the trail of hair that swirled around his navel and traveled south over a ridged abdomen before disappearing under the waistband of his trousers. It wasn’t just that he was an amazing physical specimen. All of the men she worked with were in great shape as the physical nature of their job demanded it. And she had seen all of them in various stages of undress over the course of working so closely together these many years. But something about Reiner was so _compelling_ , drawing her to him, making her want to touch all those glorious muscles on display. She gripped his shirt tightly in her fist to keep her hands from reaching for him.

Reiner knew she was looking at him. He could _feel_ it. The heat of her gaze was almost a physical touch as it traveled over his body. He fisted his hands at his sides to keep himself still under her perusal, attempting to appear unaffected.

Leigh let her eyes travel back up his body, admiring the dips and hollows created by the evidence of his strength until she reached his face and met the molten gold of his gaze. Her breath caught in her throat at the heat in his hooded gaze. This time he didn’t drop his eyes to hide from her, but held her gaze and she was hypnotized by the sensual promise she saw there. Her lips parted and her breathing increased in tempo as the tension between them escalated. She wanted him. And he knew it.

The spell was broken by a sudden noise from the other cot in the room as Annie bolted upright, gasping. Leigh jerked as if burned and she could feel a blush stain her cheeks as she moved to help Annie.

“My shirt,” Reiner whispered hoarsely as he tried to bring his raging body under control.

Leigh realized she was still clutching his clean shirt tightly in her fist and awkwardly handed it to him before getting up and bolting to the other side of the room where Annie sat panting.

Reiner watched her pour some water for Annie as he painfully pulled the shirt on.

What the fuck had just happened?


	2. A Matter of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the ship steams toward Odiha, Reiner and Leigh give in to their feelings as who knows who will survive the next forty-eight hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serious smut ahead.
> 
> The Reiner thirst is real, peeps. Get on board, if you're not already.

Later that night, Leigh was restless as she paced her small cabin. She had gotten ready for bed an hour ago but hadn’t been able to retire to her bunk, for some reason. Her thoughts whirled around in her head, thoughts of her encounter, if you could call it that, with Reiner earlier that day. She could still fee the electric jolt when his skin made contact with hers. It was as if all her nerve endings suddenly came alive, tingling just under the surface of her skin. Desire was hot and heavy in her veins. She took another turn around the cabin trying to burn off this unwanted sexual energy.

She should feel guilty. Her timing sucked. They were trying to stop the end of the world and had no clear strategy for putting an end to Eren and the Rumbling. And she had spent the most of the day trying to get Reiner and his perfectly formed lips out of her head. For the better part of five years now, she had not even looked at another man, her heart dying on that rooftop in Shiganshina with Erwin as his lifeblood seeped into the clay tiles. She looked down at herself, noting the shirt and shorts she was wearing to bed. For the first time in years she wasn’t wearing one of Erwin’s old shirts. She felt cold without the familiar comfort she had grown dependent on, the softness of well-worn fabric that had once touched his skin.

She paused at the small porthole window of her cabin, gazing out at the black night. The moon threw a silvery glow over the vast ocean, throwing sparks on the waves. Her mind drifted back to that final night with Erwin before they departed for Shiganshina. It was the last time she had been alone with him.

_Leigh lay with her head pillowed on Erwin’s broad chest as the sweat slowly cooled on their bodies. There was barely any breeze coming in the open window of the bedroom, the curtains hanging limply in the humid air. A couple of candles had been lit around the room, illuminating their naked bodies entwined on Erwin’s large bed. The bedclothes were in complete disarray as they had been taking advantage of their last night alone together before the mission. For the past couple of hours. Now, thoroughly exhausted, Leigh was cuddled on his left side so he could wrap his good arm around her. Currently his large hand was leisurely tracing patterns along her back as she had her arm draped across his lean midsection, listening to the strong beat of his heart under her ear, its tempo returning to a normal rhythm after his exertions._

_Suddenly Erwin broke the peaceful silence. “Leigh, I need you to promise me something.” Leigh could feel the rumble of his deep voice in his chest. Smiling, she turned to prop her chin on his chest to better look at him, raising her eyebrows in question. After the orgasms he had just given her, she would promise him anything._

_“If something should happen to me, I want you to promise you will move on.” Leigh stiffened at the turn of the conversation as the smile froze on her face. “You are young and beautiful and I need to know that you will find a good man to have a life with when all this is over.”_

_“I have found a good man to have a life with when this is over,” she retorted, pointedly._

_Erwin gave her a sad smile. “Men like me don’t have happy endings, love.”_

_At that, Leigh sat up angrily, jerking the sheet with her to cover her naked body. “Why the fuck not, Erwin?”_

_Erwin looked away and clenched his jaw. “You know what I’ve become. You know the decisions I have had to make. There is too much blood on my hands. I’m a monster.” He said it so matter of factly, as if they were discussing the weather._

_At this, tears filled Leigh’s dark eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She knew the nightmares that woke him up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat, haunted by the deaths of the good men and women in his care. More times than she could count she had held his trembling body tight throughout the night, keeping the ghosts at bay, until the sun came up and he could slip his mask back in place. “You’re not a monster! You’re a good man who’s had to make tough decisions!” At this, she paused to take a shaky breath as a sob caught in her throat. “I need you to stay with me,” she whispered as more tears fell. “Don’t you sometimes picture what our life could be like when all this is over? A life together. A family. You would be an amazing father. Please, Erwin,” she pleaded. She was concerned by his attitude that his death was inevitable. She knew that Levi worried for his safety on this mission, given his handicap. But was there more to it? Was he looking for a release from the torment in his mind?_

_He reached out with his hand to cup her jaw, wiping away the tears with his thumb. The sadness in his eyes broke her heart. “I used to picture that. I used to watch you moving around my rooms here, imagining your stomach round with my child.” His hand dropped away. “But we both know that won’t happen. Please promise me you will move on.”_

_Leigh took a deep breath and pulled herself together. It hadn’t always been easy being with Erwin. His drive and single-minded ambition to find out the truth had caused unending conflict. His counter strategies and risky gambles to offset the numerous conspiracies against him and the Survey Corps took a toll on their relationship. His recent arrest, torture, and near execution almost sent her over the edge. It took a strong woman and wasn’t for the faint of heart. Tough decisions and sacrifices were regular occurrences. So was gambling on outcomes._

_She looked back up at the man she had loved her entire adult life, since he had been her Squad Leader when she first joined the Survey Corps years ago. “I’ll make you a deal. If for some reason you don’t survive, I’ll find some guy, have a life, and move on. In return, you have to promise me something too. If you do survive this mess, you’ll go back to picturing our life together, our future. I want a little boy with your ridiculous eyebrows and gorgeous blue eyes.”_

_Erwin smiled, “And a little girl with your dark hair and beautiful spirit.” He looked down at his hand for a moment, closing it into a fist before he looked back up at Leigh. “I agree to your terms. Now come here, love.”_

_Leigh hiccupped a small sob before dropping the sheet and throwing herself back in his arms. “I love you, you stubborn man. Don’t you dare leave me.”_

Leigh shook her head, banishing the painful memory. Five years later and she hadn’t made much progress in fulfilling her end of the bargain. She took another quick turn around the cabin, then decided to go relieve Hanje in Levi’s room. If she’s not sleeping, she might as well do something useful. Maybe Hanje could get some sleep in her stead. She was reaching to pick up a sweater, preparing to head down the passageway to Levi’s room, when she heard a quiet knock at her door. Brows drawn together, wondering who it could be at this time of night, she reached for the handle before she suddenly pulled her hand back as if the doorknob would burn her. She could somehow sense who was on the other side of the door, his presence filling the room before he even walked through the door. Damn. Her hand hovered over the doorknob as her heart beat erratically. She knew what would happen if she opened the door. Was she ready for that? It had been so long. She briefly closed her eyes at the thought of his hands on her body. Her hand curled into a fist and she cradled it to her chest. The ticking of the small clock on her bedside table seemed to fill the room as a minute passed. Her heartbeat sped up as she pictured him on the other side of the door. Listening intently for any sign of movement in the passageway outside, she finally concluded that enough time had passed and he had surely given up and left. Gods, she was a coward. Holding her breath, she slowly turned the handle and pulled open the door. Reiner stood there filling up the doorway, with his forearm braced against the top of the door, gold eyes regarding her steadily. Her breath caught in her throat as she stepped backwards. He moved quietly, ducking his head as his large body came into the small room and quickly closed the door behind him. Then he locked it.

Reiner had been prowling the decks of the ship as it steamed its way to Odiha all evening since dinner had finished. After going below decks to check on Falco and Gabi and make sure they were settled for the night, he restlessly wandered the various passageways until he finally found himself in front of a particular door. He knew whose door it was. What was he doing? He felt like he was seventeen again, with a crush on the Commander’s woman. But he had lived a lifetime since then and was no longer that same hormonally driven teenager. Now he was a hormonally driven man, apparently. He snorted to himself at his own humor as he braced both arms on the doorframe, indecisive. Piss or get off the pot, Braun. He could only imagine what it would look like if someone came down the passageway and saw him hovering around Leigh’s door. Had he misread the signals from her? He knew she wanted him. He had been thinking of her all day, maintaining a low level of arousal, much to his frustration. He had only caught glimpses of her throughout the day. They had all been busy, each trying to cope with the aftermath of the battle on the docks in their own way, sorting through what supplies they could find, trying to inventory weaponry. Reiner was still trying to process the fact that Liberio was most likely gone, along with his whole family. But after the failure at Paradis and four years on the front against the Mid East, he had become numb to the tragedy of war, even if it was personal. He compartmentalized his loss and shoved it to the back of his mind, as a good soldier did.

At dinner, she had shown up briefly to grab a quick bite before she headed out with a tray for Levi. But she caught his eye as she passed him on her way out the door of the mess hall. The hunger in her gaze took his breath away and was so intense he thought he was mistaken. Then she dropped her gaze to her tray and headed out the door.

Now, he concentrated his thoughts on the person behind the door. Was she even there? He knew she was helping Hanje take care of Levi. But he had seen Hanje head into Levi’s cabin earlier so he assumed that Leigh had the evening off from nursing duties. He imagined he could sense her presence behind the door, moving around her cabin, maybe getting ready for bed. Gods, what did she wear to bed? His mind conjured up all sorts of options, then settled on a simple oversized shirt. He smiled to himself imagining her wearing one of his shirts, how the neckline would fall off her creamy shoulder and the hem would fall to her muscular midthigh. Shit, thoughts like that were not helping his situation, only adding to the tightness at the front of his trousers. He lifted his hand and softly knocked. And waited. Fuck. His body was already primed and loaded, and the thought of seeking out someone else to relieve the ache left him hollow. He knew firsthand it was a normal occurrence to find physical comfort and relief on the eve of battle; he had done it himself more times than he could count. But this was different. He didn’t want a random warm body; he wanted her. He could see her in his mind, the fire in her eyes and the passion that he suspected burned underneath her battle-scarred skin. Finally leaning his arm on the doorframe, he took a deep breath and contemplated a lonely night with a bottle of whiskey purloined from the captain’s cabin and his right hand for company. It was no more than he deserved.

The door opened quietly and she stood there, looking beautiful and uncertain. At the same time, Reiner heard voices at the far end of the passageway. Not wanting to be seen and cause her embarrassment, he ducked down and entered her cabin, quietly closing the door behind him. He was sure she could hear the erratic beating of his heart in the silence of the small cabin as they stood gazing at each other, the intensity of their desire filling up the small space like a third person in the room. He tamped down the feeling that he didn’t deserve to be there that was weaving into his brain like the tendril of a wayward weed, and took in the sight of her standing there, taking a small bit of satisfaction in the fact that she was wearing an old shirt and boxers. He could see the hard pebbles of her nipples through the thin material of her shirt and knew she wore nothing beneath it. His cock twitched at the thought of all that unrestrained flesh so available to his touch. She took a hesitant step towards him and that was all the sign he needed. He quickly closed the distance between them, pulling her body against him as he touched his lips to hers. His large callused hand slid under her shirt to cup her full breast, drawing a soft moan from her as his thumb skimmed over the firm nipple. Gods, her skin was so silky. He tried to take it slow, moving his lips softly over hers. But she was having none of it. She slid her hands into his hair to grip his head and opened her mouth under his, sliding her tongue along the seam of his lips. Damn, he was lost. He pivoted, taking her with him and pressing her body up against the door as he slanted his mouth over hers and devoured her, lips and tongue aggressive in drinking from her. His large hands slid over her body, feeling the sleek muscles and soft curves before he lost patience and slid one hand down the front of her shorts, seeking out her soft heat.

“Shit, you’re already so wet,” he whispered wonderingly, his body so hard he could have driven nails with it.

“I’ve been thinking of you all evening,” she replied breathlessly as Reiner wasted no time pulling her shorts and underwear over her rounded hips to fall to the floor at her feet.

At this point, his breath was coming heavy in her ear as he pushed a finger into her depths, testing her readiness, causing her to gasp his name. “I don’t think I can be gentle.” He barely recognized the animal growl of his own voice.

In answer, she ran her hands over the considerable bulge at the front of his trousers, causing him to groan deep in his chest, before she reached for his belt. “Please don’t. Gods, I need you.” The feel of his strong body under her hands burned away any last reservations or fears she had. She wanted to feel this man deep inside her. They may not live past the next forty-eight hours, but she was going to know what it felt like to feel alive again before she died.

He latched his lips back on to hers as he impatiently pushed her hands away and quickly undid his belt buckle and fastenings himself, freeing his straining erection.

Leigh briefly felt the heat of his cock against her bare stomach before she was lifted off the ground. Reiner continued to kiss her while positioning himself at her entrance and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He still had the presence of mind to pull back and ask, “Are you protected?”

And at her whispered, “Yes” he gave a savage thrust and slid in, balls deep.

Reiner held still for a moment, feeling her wet heat surround him, thinking this was as close to heaven as a sinner like him was ever going to get. Then she shifted against him, hungry, demanding more, and he groaned as his body began to move, impaling her to the door in long slow thrusts.

Leigh tore her lips from his as she leaned her head back against the door, reveling in the feel of his hard body moving against and inside hers, touching parts of her she thought long dead, holding on to his broad shoulders as she let his strength support her. Although he held her up with ease, his hard grip on her thighs was sure to leave marks as the intensity of his feelings rolled through his large body and he increased his pace, slamming into her over and over. Gods, he felt so good. She could feel his muscles bunch and flex with each thrust and roll of his hips, fueled by the small groans and sighs she breathed into his ear. She ran her tongue around the outer shell before setting her teeth sharply into the tender spot below his ear.

Reiner bit down on his lower lip at the spike of pleasure her teeth gave him, trying to bring his body back under control. At her sudden inhalation of breath, he felt her inner walls clench around his cock as her body shuddered and she came undone in his arms with a cry. As he neared his own peak, he lost his rhythm and pounded into her erratically until he gave one last powerful thrust as his body seized and he came hard, groaning into her neck as his body jerked and shook while she held him to her.

In the quiet aftermath of the cabin, their breathing seemed loud as they both struggled to bring it under control. Leigh realized they were still mostly clothed as she ran her hands over the width of his shoulders. She undid a couple of the top buttons of his shirt so she had better access to his upper chest as she ran her nose along his jaw, inhaling his masculine scent and touching her tongue to his collar bone to taste his skin. She had forgotten how good it felt to be held by a strong man, to feel his skin against her skin, his large hands holding and caressing her, to feel sleek muscles under her hands.

As her wits returned, she realized how easily Reiner was holding her up. Leigh was not a small woman, tall, and built of solid muscle and soft curves. In the past, Erwin, who was a large man with considerable strength, had had to leverage his lower body against her to hold her up against the wall, especially after climaxing. Whereas Reiner was able to effortlessly hold her up with the strength of his arms alone. Suddenly she stiffened in his arms as reality came crashing down on her, her senses reminding her of things she had somehow managed to forget: he was a titan shifter, the Armored Titan. It astounded her that she had forgotten, but his unusual strength, the heat of his body, and the subtle scent of his skin brought it all back. As she slid her nose along his neck, she caught the delicious scent of sex, sweat, aroused male, and his own unique spicy scent. However, underlying all that was a subtle smoky smell that she attributed to his titan.

Reiner, misinterpreting her stiffness as regret over their fierce coupling, shifted his weight in preparation to pulling out and stepping back. Leigh instantly tightened her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her, holding his body to her tightly, not yet wanting to lose her connection with all that hot male flesh. After a minute, he leaned his head back to look at her, a question in his eyes. In that moment, he looked so young and unsure, it was easy to forget all the baggage they both carried. She smiled as she looked into his eyes, setting her hand against his cheek, feeling the smooth skin of his jaw. Ah, he had shaved since she nursed him earlier.

He slowly lowered her to the ground, steadying her on legs unwilling to take her weight initially. She immediately went to work on the remaining buttons on his shirt, her intent clear as she undressed him.

He finally put voice to one of the questions running through his brain. “You don’t want me to leave?”

Leigh huffed out a small laugh as she briefly paused in unbuttoning his shirt. “You think I just wanted a quick fuck against the door and now I’m done with you?”

With a wry twist to his full lips, Reiner replied, “Stranger things have happened on the eve of battle, or the eve of the world ending, however you want to look at it.”

At that moment, he looked ancient, as if he had seen more things than anyone his age should have to endure.

Leigh wanted to get rid of the weight that fell around Reiner like a heavy blanket. “Oh no, Captain, I have plans for you that may take a while. You might as well get comfortable.” With that, she slid the open halves of his shirt off his muscled shoulders, running her hands down his arms to admire the curve of his biceps.

Reiner smiled, but still a question lingered in his eyes as to why she had suddenly stiffened against him. Leigh decided to answer it directly. “I was surprised that I had forgotten you were a titan shifter.”

Reiner lowered his eyes as guilt washed over him anew. Regret, his long term companion, lodged itself back in his heart. The air in the cabin suddenly became stifling and he struggled to find his breath. Leigh immediately touched his face and forced him to meet her eyes.

“No, it’s not what you think. I spent the years after the Battle of Shiganshina thinking of you as nothing but the Armored Titan who betrayed us and started all this mess. But then, after we captured the survey ships from Marley and started to learn about the Party, the Marleyan Army, and the Warriors, I began to understand your behavior a little better. Then I did the math and realized you and Bertholdt were only eleven years old when you broke through Wall Maria. And you had been in the Warrior Candidate program for years before that.” At that, she paused and raised her brows in question.

“Since age six,” Reiner supplied, his eyes still on the ground, not looking at her.

Leigh nodded. “Before you were old enough to think for yourself. And you thought you were saving the world and your families. Fuck, Reiner, that’s criminal, what was done to you.” She held out her hand to stop him as he opened his mouth to protest. “Maybe your reasoning or your age or the brainwashing bullshit doesn’t justify your actions. But I’ve come to realize it’s not my place to judge. Both sides have done things that are hard to justify. And these last days, working with you, I’ve come to see you as more than the Armored Titan. You’re a loyal soldier, a brilliant strategist, a natural leader. And a good man. I was just surprised that I had all but forgotten about your titan.” She smiled at him again as she leaned toward him. “It’s not your entire identity. It doesn’t have to define how you live.”

“No, but it will define how I die.”

Leigh quickly did the math in her head. Shit. He had only about two years left before the Curse took him. “Well, then we don’t have any time to waste, do we?” In one fluid movement, she pulled her shirt over her head so she was completely naked, and reached to pull his belt free of his trousers.

“So tell me, shifter, what kind of recovery rate do you have?” sliding him a hot look before she shoved his large body against the wall as she worked on the remainder of his clothing. “We didn’t exactly get to testing that particular trait with Eren.”

“Thank gods!” Reiner stated emphatically, picturing Hanje presiding over the experiments with her clipboard. He himself had been subjected to quite a bit of testing in his career as a Warrior, but nothing that undignified. Then he lost his train of thought as Leigh pressed her naked body against him, running her hands over the hard planes of his chest and peppering soft kisses along his jaw.

“Reiner, you are beautiful.”

She saw the way he ducked his head at her statement, clearly unused to the compliment. “Has no one ever told you that before? Surely a previous lover?”

He gave a self-deprecating snort as he shook his head. “My previous encounters mostly involved high-born Marley women who were either into fucking a Warrior, or slumming with an Eldian. And the occasional pre-battle tension relief with a fellow soldier. Doesn’t leave much room for flowery compliments, or much conversation at all.”

Leigh had paused in her exploration of his perfect body to listen. “Well it’s a crime that no one took the time to appreciate you.” She cupped his head in her hands and pulled him down for a kiss. “Their loss,” she whispered against his lips, sliding her knee between his thighs to rub against him. “As I plan to appreciate every inch of you.” His breathing hitched at the sensual caress, before she caught his lips again, demanding he open under her onslaught. After a thorough kiss, she pulled back and slid her open mouth down the strong column of his throat as he leaned his head back against the wall, groaning. Her lips blazed a trail farther down to his chest, licking the sensitive nipples before she dropped to her knees. 


	3. Shadows of Ourselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner and Leigh continue deep into the night before dealing with the trials of the next day. Levi has to face the restrictions of his injuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that have read my Levi/OC series, White Flag, you'll notice that I have recycled an idea of mine that the men and women of the Survey Corps would keep a book of lists, voted on by the veteran members of the Corps. I am convinced this has to be cannon as my knowledge of the military tells me the passionate men and women of the Corps would totally do this. Forgive me for re-using this tiny piece from my other storyline.

Reiner held her close as she lay draped over him in her bunk and she reveled in the heat that radiated off his body, a counterpoint to the cool air of the cabin at her back. The distant drone of the engine was a steady backdrop in the quiet cabin. Listening to his heart beat steadily under her ear, she opened her mouth to touch her tongue to his skin, tasting the salt of his sweat and watching in fascination as goosebumps rose up on the skin of his pectorals. She heard his breathing react to the wet heat of her tongue and she marveled at the effect she had on him, even now, after satiating themselves several times already. There was something to be said for the recovery rate of titan shifters.

The light from the small lantern they left lit was enough for Leigh to admire his body as she lightly traced her fingertips down the groove over his sternum between the hard pads of muscle on his chest, and continued following the groove down his abdomen, feeling his muscles twitch as she circled his navel, scratching lightly with her nails through the dark gold hair there. The raw masculinity he emanated was addicting. She felt the stirrings of desire once again in her core.

“I remember the first time I noticed you,” Leigh whispered against his skin, trying to distract herself. “Did you know that Hanje and Nanaba used to keep a list that ranked the asses of the latest training class?”

At Reiner’s snort, she smiled, fingers drifting over the hard planes of his stomach. While the front of her body was warm where it was plastered against Reiner, her backside was getting chilled as the temperature in the room was dropping as the night deepened. She absently wondered where the covers disappeared to as she noted the tangled mess that was her bed. Reiner’s hand sifted through her hair, gently rubbing her scalp and causing her to shiver in the chilly air. “There was actually a whole book full of interesting lists like that kept in the officer’s lounge, voted on by the veteran members of the Corps over the years. Nicest ass, best boobs, most fuckable. Typical military stuff, of course. One day, we were in the mess hall and Hanje and Nanaba were arguing over the current rankings of the 104th. When they asked me for my input, I steadfastly refused to participate, stating the fact that the class was full of underage teenagers.”

Reiner snorted again. It was true that new trainees were young when they entered the Survey Corps. But life there made you grow up fast. It took a certain type of person to join the Corps: brave, foolhardy, reckless, passionate. Lines between the proper age of consent tended to get blurred when dealing with such impassioned people with a high mortality rate.

“However, later on, I was sitting in the mess hall by myself, waiting for Erwin to meet me, when you walked by on your way out of the hall. I have to admit I appreciated the way you looked as you walked away, and I idly wondered where you ranked on their list.” Leigh smiled at the memory. “Of course, Erwin chose that moment to sit down and stone cold caught me admiring your seventeen-year-old ass.”

Reiner smiled, picturing Commander Smith. “I’m glad I didn’t know about this before. I would have been terrified. The Commander was intimidating as hell, even to me.” After a moment, his smile faded and he looked into Leigh’s eyes. “He was a good man, and a brilliant Commander. There was no way the Survey Corps should have been able to defeat the Warriors, especially once Zeke and Pieck joined the fight. But you did, mostly due to Commander Smith and his strategies.” After a second, he added, “And Captain Levi.” After another pause, “I was sorry to hear of the Commander’s death.” He felt awkward at expressing his grief since he was part of the battle that had taken Erwin’s life. One more sin to add to his list.

“Yes, he was a good man.” She paused before continuing with a smile. “He didn’t give me any grief for staring at your butt. Just cocked his eyebrow at me and asked if I was weighing in on Hanje’s rankings.” Leigh felt a twinge in her heart as she remembered how she had made it up to Erwin later in the privacy of his rooms.

Reiner kept silent as his large hand drifted up and down her back, his fingertips gliding over the multitude of scars, letting her have some space with her memories.

“I remember the first time we sparred. Levi and his squad had been assigned to work with us trainees in hand-to-hand combat, and he was demonstrating how a smaller person should fight against a larger person. So he paired you and I up for a demonstration.” Leigh nodded her head, remembering, as he continued. “I knew you were with the Commander and I was afraid I would hurt you, then I’d be in trouble. The last thing I wanted to do was draw attention to myself.”

“You pulled your punches and held yourself back. Pissed me off a little.” Actually, she remembered that it pissed her off a lot. A seventeen-year-old trainee that felt like he had to go easy on her. Because she was a woman? Because she was smaller than him? Fuck that!

“So you broke my nose!” Reiner remembered that he had had to go around with a bandage on his nose for weeks to hide that fact that his titan powers had healed his nose quickly.

“But it worked. You finally decided to fight me for real. Besides, your face was too good looking. It needed some character.” As she said this, she ran her finger down his perfect nose, with no blemish in sight. She sighed exaggeratedly in disappointment.

“And you handed me my ass.” He still thought it was astounding how she was able to best him, even with his strength. The Captain had taught her well.

“Yes, I did.” There was only a slight bit of smugness to her voice.

“I remember laying there in the dirt, tasting my own blood as I looked up at you while your boot was on my throat, demanding that I concede. All I could think of was how beautiful you were. That night was the first of many nights that I jerked off to the sight of your face in my mind.”

Leigh was almost embarrassed at the thought. Then she visualized this beautiful man stroking himself while thinking of her. Shit, that was hot. She became aware of his smooth skin under her wandering fingers as heat prickled under her skin and her nerve endings fired back to life.

Something in her demeanor must have alerted Reiner to the directional shift of her thoughts, or his own thoughts had taken the same turn. Suddenly he moved and she found herself on her back with his large body over her, cradled between her thighs. The heat of his liquid gold gaze was matched by the heat of his body as he leaned down to gently kiss her lips. “I still think of you when I touch myself,” he whispered as his lips slid along the angle of her jaw, his beard brushing the tender skin there, causing her to shiver. Then he entered her in one smooth stroke, sliding deep, the muscles of his back flexing with the movement.

Leigh arched her back against him as she felt him fill her, stretch her, gasping his name. The motion offered her breasts to his lips. He ran his tongue around her nipple before sucking it into the wet heat of his mouth as he began to pound into her with relentless power.

The next morning, Reiner woke before sunrise with Leigh wrapped in his arms, curled on her side with her face pressed into his chest. Their legs were tangled together intimately in the small bunk and her soft breath tickled the hair on his chest. Her hair was a tangled dark mass over the pillow and he found himself rubbing his cheek against the fragrant softness more than once throughout the night. He had never spent the night with someone before, usually choosing to leave as soon as the transaction was over, both parties eager to put the awkwardness behind them. But Leigh had asked him to stay and he couldn’t refuse her warm smile. Gods, it felt good. He could get used to this, the way she made him feel, the way she looked at him. As if he were just a man. Nothing more, nothing less. She knew everything about him, his sins, his crimes, the blood on his hands, and she accepted him. More importantly, she understood him. She had taken the time to find out about him and his past, to delve into why he did the things he did. Not that any of it justified his actions or his crimes, in his mind, but he appreciated that she tried to see things from his perspective. He could almost believe she forgave him, miraculously, somehow. And even though he could never forgive himself, it helped ease the weight of guilt that burdened his heart. He knew he was a poor substitute for Commander Erwin, but he would do what he could to ease her pain and loneliness. Even if it was just for the one night. It was the least he could do for her gift of understanding.

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head as she burrowed deeper into his chest. He smiled at the child-like gesture and ran his hand down the soft skin of her back before tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He was frightened by the wave of tenderness he felt.

Dawn was on the horizon, light pinks and oranges tinting the edge of the sea through the porthole window when Reiner decided he really needed to get up and leave. He didn’t want to cause any problems or embarrassment for Leigh if someone saw him exiting her cabin. He gently extricated himself from the tangle of her limbs and left the bunk to pull on his clothing.

Leigh watched from the bed, snuggling into the warm spot where Reiner had been, letting his scent surround her. She admired the efficiency with which he dressed, indicative of his military upbringing. She noted how he seemed to fill up the small room, his size dwarfing the cramped accommodations as he stood to his full height and ran both hands through his hair in an attempt to bring order to the blond strands. She noticed he wore it slightly longer now than he did before. After tucking in his shirt and buckling his belt, he came to the side of the bunk and she pulled him down for a lingering kiss.

“I wish you could stay,” she said against his lips with a smile.

“If I don’t leave now, I never will,” he replied, stroking the back of his fingers down her cheek.

“Would that be so bad?” she sighed. For a split second she wanted to pretend the world wasn’t coming to an end, that they could stay cocooned in the quiet pre-dawn forever.

As if reading her mind, “We have a genocidal maniac to stop and the world to save.”

Leigh huffed and made a face. “Just another day in the Survey Corps.”

Reiner actually smiled at that. He cupped her face with both hands and kissed her again, and the softness lingered in his eyes as he pulled away.

Leigh watched as he walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. He really did have a nice ass, she thought, smiling to herself.

She lingered in her warm bed for a few more minutes, reflecting on the events of the night. She thought she would feel guilty for finally taking another man to her bed. But she knew this was what Erwin was talking about. He wouldn’t want her to waste what precious life she was given pining after him. “I’ll always love you, you stubborn man, but I’m taking your advice,” she whispered to the predawn light filtering into her cabin.

Deciding to go ahead and hit the showers before anyone else was up, Leigh swung her legs over the side of the bunk. As she stood up, she was acutely aware of being sore in several places from the night’s exertions. Which really didn’t surprise her considering the amount of amorous activities she had engaged in, and Reiner was a large man, in all the right places. Gods, her face grew hot just thinking of the intensity, the barely restrained power of him. Yep, a shower was what she needed, maybe one on the cooler side.

After her shower, Leigh made her way a couple of doors down to Levi’s room. She knew Hanje was prepping with Armin for the strategy meeting that morning, so she was tasked with helping Levi get dressed and ready. She inhaled deeply to fortify herself for the upcoming battle as she knocked quickly and opened the door to his cabin.

She entered the room to find him already attempting to get out of bed. Blood was seeping through the bandages across his torso and he was sweating from the exertion.

“Goddammit, Levi! You’re tearing your stitches. Again.” Grabbing the scissors, she knelt in front of him and started to cut off his bandages. He didn’t say anything, just gazed at her steadily with those unreadable steel grey eyes as he sat on the edge of his bunk. She noted that his color looked better than yesterday, his pallor starting to lose the unhealthy sallowness. When she had removed all of the bloody bandages, she poured some water in a basin and began to wash away the sweat from his upper body. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back as she ran the sponge down his neck and chest. For an instant, Leigh was struck by the sensual image Levi presented, even traumatically injured. Then she shook her head to banish the thoughts. Damn, all that sex with Reiner must have heightened her awareness. She always knew that Levi emanated a sexual magnetism that most women found compelling. But she had never fallen prey to it herself. Probably because she knew him too well, she mused to herself, smiling. She carefully sponged over the long train of stitches crisscrossing his body, wiping away the seeping blood. She was happy to see he didn’t actually tear any stitches and the wounds definitely looked better than yesterday. He was healing quicker than expected.

Once she was finished with his upper body, she draped the sheet across his lap and helped him ease off the loose pants he was wearing. After washing his legs, she held out the cloth to him. He raised a sardonic brow at her, before taking the cloth in his good hand. She turned to get his clean clothes and fresh bandages, and to give him some privacy to finish washing.

When she turned back to him, he was again sitting on the edge of the bed, sheet back across his lap. She dressed his wounds with some ointment the Hizuru had given them, then rebandaged everything. At one point while she was wrapping a bandage around his chest, she noticed his attention focused on her neck, near her collarbone. When his gaze met hers, he lifted his eyebrow in question as he smirked at her. She could feel a blush stain her cheeks as she realized he was looking at a mark Reiner had left on her throat at some point during the long, active night. She continued with her bandaging, choosing to ignore the question in his eyes. She wasn’t ready for full disclosure yet, even with Levi.

Once the bandaging was finished, she handed him his clean underwear and moved to the other side of the room to put up the medical supplies. When she came back, he was breathing a little harder, but he was decently covered.

“I can do the rest,” he growled at her, agitation clear in his voice.

“Levi, we have been through this before. Let me help you.” This was usually the point where his patience wore thin.

“Just give me the goddamn clothes.”

“Fine, be an asshole. As usual.” And she set his clean clothes on the bunk beside him. But she didn’t go far, as she knew how this would end. She once again moved to the other side of the room, tidying the medical supplies and putting the soiled clothing and cloths in the basket for washing. She could hear soft cursing from the bed but she resolutely kept her back turned, letting him struggle as he would only snap at her if she intervened. After a significantly louder ‘mother fucker’ came from the other side of the room, she finally turned around to survey the damage.

Levi stood unsteadily next to the bunk, sweating again, shirt on but unbuttoned, pants on but unfastened. Progress. However, he was struggling with all the fastenings due to the injury on his right hand. She moved to help him with the buttons on his shirt. He swatted her hands away.

“Fuck off, Strahan. I can do it.”

“Levi…”

“Goddamnit, Leigh, leave me some dignity. Do you know what it’s like to have you wash and dress me like I’m a child? Fuck it, how can you look at me and not see some pathetic imbecile who can’t even dress himself?” He collapsed on the edge of the bed and let his head fall into his hands. “Just leave me be, please,” he whispered. 

Leigh stood in front of him for a full minute, looking at the dark hair on his bowed head. Then her temper snapped.

She reached down and roughly gripped his chin, tilting his head up to her to meet her angry gaze. For a moment he grabbed her wrist and fought against her hold, then he held still, glaring at her.

“You listen to me, Levi Ackerman. I would bathe you, dress you, and wipe your ass for the rest of your days, if necessary. And I would be grateful for it, because that would mean you were alive and with us, you stubborn asshole. Fuck, do you have any idea how thankful I am that you are still alive, that I get to look at your insolent face and put up with your obnoxious attitude another day?” At this, she paused and closed her eyes to contain the desolation and pain she felt. She had come so close to losing him. Unexpectedly, a sob escaped her throat and she slapped her hand over her mouth to keep any more from slipping out. She took several steadying breaths before continuing in a whisper, “I did all this for Erwin, you know. After he lost his arm.” Her eyes weren’t focused on anything as she remembered. She smiled slightly. “He was difficult too. What a surprise.” Then she focused back on him. “But I would do it all over again, a thousand times over, for just one more day with him. So you will let me help you until you gain the strength and dexterity to do it yourself, you fucking bastard. Do you understand me?”

At this, she let go of his chin and stood over him, breathing heavily from emotional exertion, her chest rising and falling unsteadily. He held her gaze defiantly for a moment. Then his gaze softened and he carefully stood up and began to slowly work on his buttons at the bottom of his shirt. She lifted her hands and started on the buttons at the top. Granted, she did more than he did, but when their hands finally met somewhere near the middle, he grabbed her hand with his good one and gripped it tight, pulling her towards him until their foreheads met. They stood that way for a minute, taking comfort in each other and their long-standing friendship, then Leigh pulled back and helped him tuck in his shirt.

After she fastened his pants and buckled his belt, carefully making sure the buckle was perfectly centered, she stepped back and admired her work. He looked good. She nodded her approval at him.

“You know you just wanted to touch my dick.”

Leigh rolled her eyes. “You are such an asshole.” Then after a moment she grinned, “You know it turned you on when I did.”

“Maybe, but I’m not sure. Do it again.”

Leigh laughed. “Dream on.”

Levi quirked his lips in a semblance of a smile. “Help me down the hall. We’re going to be late for the meeting. And gods know, we can’t leave all the decisions to Hanje.”


	4. Threshold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the final day on the ship and the atmosphere is tense with the unknown. Reiner and Leigh find the best way to deal with tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all that have come with me so far on this journey to the unknown! As we approach the limits of the current manga, I am taking more liberal license with the canonverse. The next chapter is really going to be a ride.
> 
> As for this chapter, it's really just fluff and smut to establish more interactions between Reiner and Leigh so I have a place to jump off from when THE END OF IT ALL comes and our survivors try to move on (yes, there will be survivors in my little world because it's MY little world and I need a happy place to go to when Isayama destroys everything in canon.).
> 
> Please leave comments and suggestions as they keep me writing and I really look to improve and develop my writing. You guys are the best and I love you all for taking the time to comment!! 
> 
> Peace to everyone this new year!

The door to the meeting room creaked loudly as it swung inward and Levi stepped carefully over the threshold, followed closely by Leigh. She noted he was moving a little better as he sat in the only unoccupied seat near the door. Armin had attached a yellowed map to the far wall and the room was crowded with the remnants of the Survey Corps, the Warriors, and the envoy from Hizuru. They were discussing the possible different positions of the titans of the Rumbling and how fast they were traveling. The atmosphere in the room was tense as visualizing it on the map emphasized the magnitude of what they knew was happening.

The conversation paused as Leigh and Levi entered the room, but resumed as Leigh settled in a spot against the wall behind Levi. When Hanje continued, Leigh scanned the room and locked eyes with Reiner, who was on the far side of the room. At the sight of his broad-shouldered form leaning casually against the wall, she felt her pulse speed up. The heated look he shot her beneath hooded lids told her he was having the same problem. As Hanje cleared her throat, Leigh jerked her gaze back toward the front of the room and tried to focus.

The meeting didn’t really accomplish much, except to accentuate how much they didn’t know about how to stop Eren. They speculated where his next target might be, according to Yelena, however reliable that information may be. However, without anything else to go on, they made tentative plans to take the flying boat to Fort Salta once it was prepped in Odiha.

As to how to stop him, they still had no idea. Armin stuck by the theory that they could talk to him and reason with him first. The group was split down the middle as to how effective that might be, many sliding surreptitious looks to the quiet, dark haired woman in the corner, unnerved by Mikasa’s intimidating presence. Personally, Leigh was with Annie on the idea that they needed to have a solid backup plan in case talking didn’t work. There was too much at stake. But how do they kill him, if it comes to that? Frustrated, the group started to break up when Hanje spoke up.

“Reiner and Annie, I think it wise if you guys get fitted with the new ODM gear. You may have to start out using it, or you may find yourself in a position where it’s more effective than being in your titan form. Meet me in the storage room directly after the meeting and we’ll get you outfitted.” Hanje motioned to Leigh. “Can you help?”

Seeing that Armin was with Levi, Leigh agreed. “Sure.”

Leigh and Hanje entered the small storage room a few minutes after leaving the strategic meeting. The room was dusty and the dampness of the sea hung on the heavy air. Upon scanning the room, they saw Reiner leaning against a barrel in the corner, arms crossed over his broad chest. He had lit a small lantern that sat in a pool of yellow light on the barrel.

“Where’s Annie?” Hanje questioned, her brows drawing together as she searched the small room. She was sure she had been clear at the meeting that they were to come straight here. Reiner shrugged.

“She headed off in the other direction, saying she had to take care of something,” he replied, looking at Hanje and studiously avoiding Leigh.

“Shit. Well, you two carry on. Leigh can get started fitting you out, Reiner. I’ll go look for Annie.” Oblivious, Hanje trotted back out the door, leaving a pregnant silence in her absence.

They stared at each other in the gloom of the small room, separated by a few feet of dusty floor and a host of awkward feelings. Reiner glanced down at the floor, used to the uncomfortable morning-after feelings. Suddenly, Leigh laughed, causing him to whip his gaze back up to her in time to see her cross the few feet between them and throw her arms around his neck, pressing her body close.

“So, let’s get you fitted out, Captain,” Leigh whispered suggestively as she slid her hand down and grabbed his ass. His body jerked in surprise at the caress. He looked at her in confusion even as he rested his hands on her waist, enjoying the feel of her in his arms again. She threw him off balance with her easy acceptance of him and…whatever this was between them. He was used to being someone’s dirty little secret.

“Aren’t you worried Hanje might see us?”

Leigh rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? She’ll have it figured out by dinner, if not earlier. She might appear to be clueless and oblivious, but she is very observant. And she’ll then be grilling me for all manner of details. After that, the scientist in her will kick in.” At this point she gave him her best ‘scientist’ look while pretending to hold a mock clipboard and adopting her best ‘Hanje’ voice. “Would you be willing to submit to a series of sexual experiments, Braun? I would like to explore shifter sexual activity, you know, to discover stamina, recovery, duration, volume, the usual. Of course, I’ll have to take extensive measurements throughout. I am certain this information could be vital to the survival of humanity.”

At this, Reiner couldn’t hold back his laughter, or his horror. “Volume?! What the fuck? And measurements? Of what, I’m afraid to ask?”

Leigh cocked her brow sardonically at him, knowing she wasn’t too far from the truth with her jesting. Then she smiled and kissed his cheek before pulling out of his arms to search for the rack of spare ODM gear.

In spite of her heightened awareness of him physically, Leigh was all business (well, mostly) getting him set up with the new gear. She wasn’t worried about his abilities, as she thought back to how he flew when he was a member of the Corps. While large men like Reiner tended to not do as well with OD maneuvering, he had the strength to carry his large frame successfully through the air. He may not be as agile as Levi or Connie, but he more than made up for it with brute force. After he slid the harness on, Leigh knelt before him, tightening the various buckles over his thighs and describing the different pressure points the new harness had. There were more straps on the legs than the older harness, but there was better weight distribution. It made for some slightly different adjustments in how you shifted your weight to change angles and trajectories. Leigh was describing the use of the special hinge now at the knee when she paused and looked up the length of his body at him. Reiner had been adjusting the chest strap to fit his broad chest when he looked down and met her eyes. He had been resolutely trying to ignore her hands all over him, keeping everything businesslike. He had already recited the alphabet backwards twice in his head to keep himself distracted. But it was getting more and more difficult, and his growing arousal was getting harder to hide. Leigh’s hands ran up the length of his hard thigh, again for the nineteenth time (not that he was counting). He was certain she was doing it on purpose as her hand casually brushed his groin while checking the security of his hip buckle. Shit, she was killing him. As their gazes locked, she grinned at him mischievously and Reiner knew he was in trouble. He barely had a chance to glance at the door to see if it had a lock on it (it didn’t), before her hand slid down from his buckle to cup the growing bulge directly in front of her. Reiner’s hiss at the contact was swallowed up by the sound of the door banging open as Hanje burst in, flustered.

“Well, I can’t find her anywhere. I hope we have time to get her set up once we dock tomorrow.” She paused to check out Reiner in his new gear, cocking her head critically to visually inspect the fit. Leigh had turned around at Hanje’s ill-timed entrance, but stayed on her knees in front of him to hide his massive erection. For his part, Reiner managed to maintain a casual pose, pretending to adjust the buckle on a strap on his left thigh, hoping the aroused flush on his face was not visible in the dim room.

“It looks like Leigh has things well in hand here, Reiner. I would suggest you take a couple of practice flights tomorrow when we dock, to make sure you have the hang of it.” Not waiting for a response from him, she moved to check the levels on the tanks stacked against the wall, clearly not leaving anytime soon.

Leigh glanced at him as she rose to her feet, shrugging as she tried unsuccessfully to hide a smirk. Reiner clenched his jaw as he casually turned away from where Hanje was inspecting the tanks along the south wall, willing his body to calm the fuck down.

Hanje and Leigh were in Levi’s cabin rolling clean bandages later that afternoon as the sun was slowly making its way toward the horizon. Land could be seen in the far distance and a low bank of clouds hovered just above where the mountains met the sky. A murky dark had settled over the room as the sun fell behind the clouds, causing Hanje to light a small lantern. Leigh had just finished checking Levi’s bandages again and he was resting quietly as she and Hanje worked.

“So, I saw a handsome young War Chief heading out of our passageway early this morning as I was checking on Levi. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you Leigh?” Hanje didn’t waste any time with banal pleasantries, taking Leigh a little off guard even though she was well used to Hanje’s interrogation methods.

She coughed and shook her head. “No idea.” But the blush that stole up her fair cheeks told a different story. Hanje’s hands stopped working with the bandages.

“Holy shit. You finally got laid. Good for you. Wow, I’m impressed. How’s that age difference working for you?”

Leigh, used to Hanje’s sporadic train of thought, was able to recover from her embarrassment quickly. “Ha! I know you’re not judging me, of all people.” With that, she gave Hanje a sardonic look. “Correct me if you weren’t the one ranking the fine asses of all the teenage trainees once upon a time. And if I also remember correctly, Reiner got top marks in that department for his training class. And it’s only six years, by the way.”

Hanje laughed, remembering the book that used to be kept in the officer’s lounge. It went back many years, even before her time in the Corps, and she had proudly continued the time-honored tradition, for as long as she was able. These last few years had been difficult as she had been busy playing Commander. But she had shown Hitch the book and was convinced that she had placed it in capable hands. Until recently anyway. She wondered vaguely where the book was these days, since the Jaegerists had infiltrated the old Survey Corps headquarters. 

She turned thoughtful. “Yes, I do believe you’re right about Reiner and his ranking. I believe he topped several lists that year, including Most Fuckable.” She looked back at Leigh. “You’ll have to tell me if the title was well earned?” She only paused for a moment, pretty sure that Leigh wasn’t going to answer that particular query. “I knew there was something going on! I could almost feel the heat between you guys this morning in the meeting. And the look he shot you as you came in the door…whew, it would have melted steel. Did you enjoy fitting his ODM gear to that hard body? I should have stuck around for that. Did I interrupt anything when I came back into the storage room? I noticed Reiner looked a little stressed.” At this, she waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Leigh turned a little pink, remembering the strategy meeting this morning. She had done her best to act normal, but when she met his heated gaze across the room, all sorts of images from the night before flooded her mind. “Well, if you think his ass is fine, you should see the rest of him. And he’s not seventeen anymore.” Leigh shook her head, recalling more explicit images of the night before, causing her body to turn to liquid heat. “Damn, Hanje.”

“Oh heavens, please tell me more. I’ll have to live vicariously.” Then she added as an afterthought, “And I have some questions.” Leigh snorted, shaking her head, not surprised at all.

A scratchy voice spoke up from the bunk, “Holy fucking hell, my body may be in rough shape but my ears work just fine.”

Hanje laughed, turning her attention to the man lying in the bunk, “What, Levi? It’s just girl talk.”

“It’s bad enough one or both of you are in here all the time, mothering me like I’m some helpless goddamn child who can’t even take a piss on his own. Please do not make me listen to your sex lives. There are just certain things about Braun that I don’t need to know.”

With a wink at Hanje, Leigh spoke up, “Really, Levi? You mean you don’t want to hear that he’s hung like a horse? Or how about the fact that the Armored Titan has absolutely no problem with his hardening abilities? And don’t get me started about the stamina of titan shifters.”

Levi covered one ear with his non-injured hand. “Please gods, make it stop.”

Both women dissolved in a fit of laughter. Leigh continued to needle the injured captain.

“Besides, where else am I to turn to satisfy certain urges? It’s not like you’re in peak condition. Pickings are getting pretty slim these days.”

Levi opened his uninjured eye and fixed both women with a steel grey glare. “Last time I checked, my dick worked just fine.”

“And when was the last time you checked, big man?”

“Fuck off, Strahan.”

Leigh and Hanje shared a smile, both women remembering so many missions in the past where this insulting banter was common place around late night fires while on duty outside the walls. It brought back memories of a time and people long gone, and when circumstances were different. Back then, a breach in one of the Walls was deemed a major catastrophe. Now they were faced with the annihilation of the world by one of their own. It put things in a different perspective.

Levi spoke up again in the ensuing silence, “You definitely have a type, Strahan: big, blond, and stupidly devoted to lost causes.”

At the captain’s blunt words, Leigh looked down at her hands in her lap. She didn’t see the half-rolled bandage lying in her idle hands, but rather the large callused hands of Erwin as he reached over to interlace his tanned fingers with hers. It had been so long.

Levi blindly reached out with his good hand, finally colliding with her knee. She could feel his warm grip through her trousers as he gently squeezed. She knew he wasn’t trying to dig up painful memories: he still struggled with the loss as much as she did. She rested her own hand on top of his, the strong bond of longstanding friendship evident in the warmth of their shared touch.

Hanje placed her hand on top of theirs and the three of them sat that way in silence for a long minute, thankful to still have each other after all these years.

Hanje was the first to break the silence. “Whether it turns into something meaningful, or was just to scratch an itch, I’m happy for you, Leigh. It’s about time.” Leigh was appreciative of the fact that Hanje could be optimistic that there would actually be a future in which to consider where her relationship with Reiner would go.

“And if he hurts you, I’ll kill him for real this time.”

Leigh smiled at her two dearest friends with blurred vision, words barricaded behind strong emotions and lodged in her throat.

Levi, uncomfortable with emotional displays, broke the soft tension. “Besides, you couldn’t handle it if I fucked you.”

Hanje removed her hand and picked up another bandage to roll, rolling her eyes.

“Oh please, the shape you’re in, you’d hemorrhage to death if you even got a hard-on. And remember, I just spent the night wearing out a twenty-three year old titan shifter, and that is no small feat. I think I could handle a little shit like you.”

Hanje tuned the two of them out as they started in on each other again. The banter was a regular occurrence and never ending. But she took note of the fact that Levi’s scarred hand was still on Leigh’s knee and Leigh’s hand was still gripping his. She wondered for the hundredth time if they were ever going to acknowledge the spark that clearly existed between them. Or would the specter of Erwin Smith forever be an insurmountable obstacle between them?

It was getting close to dinner time and Leigh was overseeing the men as they shifted the fuel barrels in preparation for unloading once they reach Odiha early the next morning. She was supposed to be doing an inventory of the potential weaponry and fuel they had for the upcoming battle. Unfortunately, she kept getting distracted by Reiner and the pull of his shirt across his broad shoulders as he lifted yet another heavy barrel. It didn’t help that his shirt was soaked with sweat from his endeavors and she could see every contour of his muscled body. Dear gods, the world was potentially ending tomorrow and all she could think about was sinking to her knees and sucking his glorious cock. Christ, she needed to be court martialed. But the thought still caused her body to quicken and heat to pool in her lower belly.

Lost in her lurid thoughts, she was unaware of Hanje coming to stand next to her. “You’re drooling,” Hanje remarked, with a large grin splitting her face.

Leigh thought about denying it, but was sure it was written all over her flushed face as she returned her attention to her clipboard. “Is it that obvious?” Then after a moment she added, “How does no one else see him?” She had noticed that while the men worked, most of them joked quietly amongst themselves, ribbing and insulting each other. Except for Reiner. While he quietly lifted twice as much as the other men, they tended to ignore him. Leigh knew she should be grateful that Jean was no longer openly hostile toward him, but it still made her angry.

Hanje shrugged. “They still see him as a traitor or as a tool to be used for war. You see him as a man.”

As usual, Leigh was surprised at Hanje’s insight. For someone who didn’t do well in interpersonal relationships, she was amazingly intuitive as to how others interacted.

At that moment Reiner happened to look up before moving the next barrel and caught her eye, telling her he had been aware of her presence all along. The soft smile he sent her made her toes curl and she smiled in return. Then she sobered.

“It was beyond criminal what Marley did to those kids. They were six years old when the military took possession of them. Feeding them propaganda and turning them into machines of hate. Then giving them unspeakable power at the age of eleven and sending them off on a mission of mass murder. It’s no wonder that his mind started to crack after spending years alongside the kids of his training class, realizing we weren’t the devils we were portrayed to be. But still determined to do his duty to Marley. And living with the guilt. Do you know he was almost executed when he returned to Marley after Shiganshina? Because he failed. Oh, and he’s going to die horrifically in less than two years at the ripe old age of twenty-four because that unspeakable power has an expiration date. And they are just perpetuating the cycle with Gabi and Falco. It blows the mind! What kind of people would do that? To children?”

Hanje just let her friend rant, feeling anger in her own heart for the injustices perpetuated on both sides. She hoped there was a solution, for everyone’s sake. But at the moment, she couldn’t see it. And that failure plagued her.

Dinner was a somber affair that night, everyone thinking about what could happen on the morrow. What were they going to find in Odiha? How far ahead of the Rumbling were they? What were they going to do about Eren? Conversation was at a minimum. But everyone was glad to see that Levi managed to make it to eat with them. He was looking marginally better and had even asked that his ODM gear be brought to his room later. He sat quietly at the end of the table, observing. He noticed that the Warriors and the Survey Corps still sat separate from each other. However, there were several small conversations going on between the two groups. Connie and Jean were talking with Pieck. Levi still had a hard time believing that the gentle young woman was the quadruped Cart Titan that had snatched Zeke from him at Shiganshina. Armin and Hanje were talking to the two kids, Gabi and Falco. Levi was astounded at how knowledgeable the younger Warriors were on guns and other armaments. He couldn’t help but see the looks Armin kept sending Annie, who sat quietly on the other side of Reiner, not talking to anyone. Reiner kept his head down, for the most part, concentrating on his food. Levi had noticed over the last few days that he didn’t engage with many people, tending to keep quiet unless asked a specific question, silently observing. But his insight and strategic input, when he gave it, was, in Levi’s reluctant opinion, genius. Levi continued to watch the younger man, evaluating. He had seen how Reiner had sacrificed himself to protect everyone back at the docks. He saw now how Reiner would periodically look up from his food, his gaze locking on Leigh every time. The boy was clearly smitten. Leigh, for her part, was busy talking to Onyankopon, asking him questions about his homeland, to which he was animatedly responding. But Levi knew she wasn’t immune to Reiner. The couple of times their eyes had met, Leigh had given the young shifter a soft smile before turning back to her conversation. And one time, Levi could have sworn he saw her cheeks tinge with pink before she dropped her eyes to her plate.

Levi cleared this throat. “I don’t need a goddamn babysitter tonight. I would like to have a night of peace and quiet before the shit hits tomorrow. So whoever’s turn it is to stay with me tonight, you can just fuck off.”

The various conversations had paused at his declaration. Most of them resumed as he picked his cup back up and took a sip of his tea. He saw Hanje glance at Leigh and shrug, clearly agreeing that Leigh could have the night off from nursing duty. Then Levi hid a smile behind his cup as he saw Reiner and Leigh lock gazes across the table in silent communication. And people said he didn’t have a heart.

Later that evening, Reiner was quietly heading down the passageway toward Leigh’s cabin, when he heard another door open a couple of cabins down. He paused outside Leigh’s door when Captain Levi stepped out into the passageway and turned to him, as if he had been waiting for Reiner to pass by. The older man looked at Reiner with a steady gaze from his good eye.

“Who knows who will survive the shit that is about to go down. But if you hurt her in any way, I will finish what I started with you on that wall in Shiganshina.”

The words were uttered in Levi’s customary husky monotone. But that didn’t invalidate the threat implied. Reiner painfully recalled Levi’s brutality as he had shoved his blade through Reiner’s neck in a nearly successful attempt to kill him. He had barely survived. But the captain’s threat was unnecessary.

“You’ve no need to worry, Captain.” He left it at that. Let Levi try to figure out if he meant he would never hurt Leigh, or he thought it unlikely he would survive the upcoming battle. Either way, he met the captain’s gaze steadily.

Levi’s face softened for a brief moment. “She’s been alone since Erwin died. Take care with her.” With that, he turned and went back into his cabin, closing the door quietly. As he moved toward his bunk, he smiled softly to himself. Then he spoke to the darkness, “You may not approve of my methods, but I did promise I would look after her once you were gone.” He couldn’t do much better than to have the Armored Titan looking after Leigh in the upcoming battle.

Reiner stood in the empty passageway for a minute, contemplating Levi’s words, and staring at Leigh’s door. Then he knocked softly.

Leigh opened the door immediately. “Who were you talking to?”

“Captain Levi. He was waiting for me.”

Leigh rolled her eyes as she pulled him into the room. “I can only imagine.”

“He cares for you.” Reiner could not hide the surprise in his voice.

“Well, of course he does. We’ve known each other a long time, survived a lot of missions together. And aside from me and Hanje, there is no one left of the old guard. Levi has a depth of feeling of which most people aren’t aware. You just have to get past the crusty exterior to the soft gooey center.”

Reiner looked at her for a moment, watching as she poured them each a couple fingers of whiskey from a bottle she had on a little table. His instincts told him there was more to Levi’s concern than long term friendship. But it was not his place to point that out. And why would he, the strategist in him wondered, as Leigh indicated he sit on the one small chair in the tiny cabin. The chair protested his weight as he sat, while Leigh sat on the nearby bunk, holding her cup. He took a large drink from his glass, pleasantly surprised at the quality of the liquor.

“The Hizuru believe in high standards in all things,” she commented upon seeing his surprise and taking a small sip from her own cup as she watched him.

Reiner could feel a slow burn low in his gut, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. He took another drink, even though the alcohol wouldn’t affect him. It gave him something to do with his hands while they talked. Reiner realized that talking to Leigh was easy. He found himself opening up about his mother and his family. He related several funny stories about Gabi from when she was a small girl that made Leigh laugh at the audacity of the young girl. They avoided the more painful topics from his past, but Reiner found himself wanting to tell her things he never told anyone else, if they had more time. He looked down at his now-empty glass as silence fell upon the room. Maybe in another time or another life. He briefly pondered a different path that his life could have taken where he met this warm, vibrant woman under different circumstances. For the first time in a long time, he felt remorse at the fact that his clock was running out, and that surprised him. Even in the unlikely event that he survived the upcoming battle, he didn’t have long until the Curse took him. He suddenly found himself wanting more time, and it all had to do with the woman sitting in front of him.

He looked up from his silent contemplation as he heard her set down her glass and rise from her seat on the bed. She covered the short distance to stand in front of him and took his glass from his hand. After setting it to the side, she reached out and cupped his jaw, sliding her hand back into his hair as she climbed into his lap, straddling him while her skirt draped across his legs. Reiner closed his eyes briefly at the feel of her warm weight settling on him as the chair voiced another protest at the increased weight. He could smell the light floral scent of her soap and the more enticing scent of _her_. Still holding the side of his head, she pressed her cheek against his before sliding her nose along the shell of his ear, her warm breath sending shivers down his spine straight to his groin. The feather light touch of her fingers glided down his throat to ghost over his pulse. Her thumb rested in the hollow of his throat, measuring his increased pulse rate. Then her lips found his and he groaned at the unique taste of her mixed with whiskey as he slid his tongue into the warm recesses of her mouth. He took his time savoring the taste and texture of her while her hands moved to his shoulders to grip him tight as she pulled herself even closer to him, crushing her breasts to his chest. His hands slid up her back under her shirt, pressing her against his body. _More_ , her trembling body cried. You can have _everything_ , his body replied as he flexed his hips causing his erection to press against her core. Leigh whimpered at the heat that erupted under her skin, igniting her hunger. She pulled back slightly, enough for him to slide her shirt up over her head, revealing her full unbound breasts. Reiner hummed in appreciation as he cupped a generous mound. It fit perfectly in his large hand. He dipped his head to draw a rosy nipple into his mouth, gently taunting the sensitive bud, while his other hand sought out the bottom hem of her skirt so it could slide up her bare leg. Leigh reverently cradled his head to her breast as she carded her hands through his hair while rocking her lower body against him, still seeking _more_ , more friction, more contact, just _more_ _him_. His hand continued its journey, unimpeded, up the length of her muscled leg until he rested it on the smooth skin of her hip, fingers splayed over the firm globe of her bare ass. In surprise, he released his grip on her breast and drew back to look at her, a question in his eyes.

Leigh met his surprised look with a mischievous grin. She answered his unspoken question, “Yes, I went to dinner like this. No undergarments. At all. Thinking of you the entire time.”

Reiner closed his eyes. He didn’t think it was possible to be even more turned on than he already was. But the image of her sitting across from him at dinner tonight, with no undergarments under her clothing, _for him_ , was about to be his undoing. He groaned as he leaned his head back.

Leigh leaned in to run her lips up the strong column of his throat, stopping to suck and swirl her tongue over a sensitive spot here and there. “So tell me,” she whispered huskily in between bites, “did you get yourself off after we fitted your ODM gear today?”

“Yes…fuck…yes,” he replied breathlessly as he resumed running his hands over her body. “I barely made it back to my cabin.” He could feel her smile against his skin.

He stood up, relieving the small chair of its burden, and set Leigh on her feet as he slid the skirt over her hips to pool on the floor. Now that he had her naked, he lifted her up and, closing the short distance to the bunk, gently lowered her onto it. Then he stepped back, toeing off his boots as he began to work the buttons on his shirt and admiring the perfection of her bare body laid out before him.

Leigh let him look his fill as the heat from his gaze touched her all over. The hunger in his gaze emboldened her. She reached a hand up to cup her breast, the soft curves overflowing her smaller hand. Then her hand slowly slid down the muscled planes of her stomach. She opened her legs, exposing herself completely to him as her fingers slid into the wet folds of her core.

Reiner felt his thrumming heart skip a beat and he was certain he had never seen anything so erotic in his life. His forgotten shirt slid from his nerveless fingers and fell to the floor as he worked quickly on shedding his trousers.

While he fumbled with his clothing, Leigh stroked herself lightly, teasingly, not wanting to make herself come yet. She was enjoying watching his responses as he divested himself of the rest of his clothes. Her breath was coming harshly as she circled through the wetness around her entrance before sliding a finger inside.

Reiner groaned at the sight of her finger disappearing into her wet heat. Finally, standing naked before her, he decided two could play at that game. He caught her eye and raised a blond brow at her as his hand slid along the length of his erection. She smirked briefly before her gaze dropped to his hand as he stroked himself, pausing briefly to collect the pearly drop leaking from the tip and spreading it around before sliding back down his length.

Leigh couldn’t get enough of looking at him. But she was growing impatient for the feel of his bare body against hers.

“Come here, shifter,” she demanded huskily, smiling wantonly at him.

He briefly marveled at how she could make the word ‘shifter’ sound so damn sexy, in spite of the many negative connotations he had heard it associated with in the course of his life. Smiling, he leaned down to kiss her greedily as he slowly lowered his body over hers, reveling in the contrast of softness and sleek muscle that was Leigh, her skin gliding over his as she fit herself to him, their bodies aligning perfectly. Sliding one hand down the length of her body, from the delicate shell of her ear, fingertips ghosting down the column of her throat, over the gentle slope of her breast, skimming the slight indentations of her ribs, caressing the flare of her hip, Reiner finally gripped the back of her thigh and lifted her leg up over his hip as he rocked against her, never breaking his kiss.

It was Leigh’s turn to groan as sensation shot up her spine while he increased the pressure and friction at her center. She sank her teeth into his lower lip in frustration, wanting more, as she gripped his ass in silent desperation.

Reiner grunted as he pulled back slightly, his tongue nursing his offended lip, while he narrowed his eyes at her. He anchored his hand to her hip, keeping her immobile as he slid his erection against her again, watching her. He knew the moment she gave in, surrendering to him with a whimper.

“Please, Reiner.” Her voice was breathless with need.

“I want to taste you,” Reiner whispered in her ear as the warm weight of his body pressed her into the bed while he held his upper body up on his forearms, cradling her head in his hands.

“I am yours to command, War Chief,” Leigh whispered as she kissed his strong jaw.

Reiner moved down to trace his tongue along her collar bone before lingering at the base of her throat where her pulse beat rapidly. Her body moved restlessly under his weight as he shifted down to again pay homage to her breasts. He laved the soft creamy skin with his tongue before gently sucking the hard bud into the wet heat of his mouth. His hand kneaded the other breast, rolling the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. After a while, he switched. Leigh arched up against him, reveling in the weight of his body over her, limiting her movements. With her one leg still hooked over his hip, he could feel her wet heat against his stomach as he slid down her body. Gods, she was wet for him.

He moved lower, kissing the tender underside of her breast.

He slid his nose along the smooth skin of her stomach, inhaling the sweet scent of her skin along with a slight tang of sweat, then paused to press his lips to a scar near her hip bone. The contrast between his soft lips and his scratchy beard caused Leigh to shiver, especially as his warm breath ghosted over her naval.

At this point, he hesitated, unsure. He had never done this before, never had the desire or opportunity in the sordid story that was his sex life up until now. For the first time in his young life Reiner wanted to _savor_ a woman. It wasn’t just about fulfilling a physical need. She had given so much to him in their short time together, knitting some of his discordant pieces back together with her easy-going nature and gentle acceptance, he wanted to give something back to her, a piece of himself he had never given to anyone else, to share more than just a fuck.

Leigh noticed his hesitation and guessed at the reason. She ran her hand through his hair before cupping his jaw, bringing his gaze to hers. “There’s no wrong way to do it.”

He moved lower still, forcing her thighs apart to accommodate the width of his shoulders as he settled between her legs. His hand ran down the outside of her thigh, admiring the curve of smooth muscle. He turned his head to place a lingering kiss on the inside of her thigh. He never noticed how soft the skin was there.

Leigh’s hands fisted in the sheets in anticipation as he nuzzled her core, inhaling the scent of her arousal. In the dim light of the cabin, he looked up the length of her body as he ran his tongue up the length of her slit, growling at her taste as her body arched against his mouth. He then settled in to explore her thoroughly, finding the places that made her sigh and tremble under the firm grip of his hands on her thighs, holding her open to his ministrations. After some time of nibbling and licking, he sought out her secret pearl, zeroing in on it with his tongue, sucking gently. Leigh’s back arched off the bed, her body strung tight on the edge of climax. “Gods, Reiner, don’t stop!” Watching her come undone under his ministrations was almost enough to make him come as he pressed his hips into the bed while he continued his tender assault on her.

A moment later, she crashed over that edge, a deep groan ripped from her throat as her body shuddered under his hands. As Reiner pulled back, his body was on fire from the taste of her on his tongue, the scent of her arousal in his nose, the feel of her warm, supple body shuddering in his arms. He trembled with the force of his feelings, afraid he would hurt her if he took her now. He wiped the back of his shaking hand across his mouth before crawling back up her body to meet her gaze. She must have seen something in his eyes that belied his concern.

Touching her hand to his sweaty cheek, “I want you, Reiner. All of you. Even the scary parts.” Her voice was breathless due to her recent orgasm, but didn’t lack conviction. “I can take it.”

The feel of her callused hand on his cheek tamed the raging beast inside him. Resting his weight again on his forearms, he took her face in both of his hands and kissed her. It wasn’t a gentle kiss; she could still feel the restrained power under her fingertips. But he had himself back under control. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he flexed his hips, driving into her.

Leigh woke up some time later. From the view out the small window, it was still full dark. But there was enough light coming in from the half-moon hanging low in the sky to illuminate the sleeping man beside her. He lay on his stomach with his arms above his head, his face turned toward her. Leaning up on an elbow, she admired the bunched muscles of his back and shoulders, the curve of his biceps, followed the deep groove of his spine to the generous curve of his ass under the sheet. She noticed the lack of scarring on his body, his titan healing the many extensive wounds she knew he had taken over the years, leaving behind smooth skin over hard muscle. His face was relaxed in sleep, the furrow once again gone from between his eyes, his dark gold eyelashes brushing his cheek. He looked so young. As she watched, his eyes slowly opened and his warm gold gaze settled on her, silently assessing.

For a soft quiet minute, they looked at each other in the silver moonlight, sharing sentiments and feelings that were impossible to say out loud given the limited time. Regrets swirled in the space between them, not for what had happened, but for what could have been. Their quiet breathing the only sound in the small cabin as so many words went unspoken. 

“Thank you,” he finally whispered, reluctant to stop the silent conversation.

Leigh smiled, “For fucking your brains out? My pleasure.” She lifted her hand to trace her fingertips along the curve of his shoulder.

He gave a brief smile at her humor, then he sobered. “For treating me like I’m human.”

Leigh’s brows drew together as she thought about the upcoming encounter with Eren and the colossals. She knew that Reiner battled inner demons and had some suicidal/self-sacrificing/heroic tendencies. Had anyone ever given a damn about this man, other than as a weapon, his entire life? Did anyone care if he made it back from a battle alive, except to pass on his titan through proper channels? He was going to die a violent death in less than two years having known only violence and hate his entire young life. 

And he was still a good man, in spite of all this. His spirit was to be commended for carrying him this far without collapsing. 

Tears filled her eyes as she reached out and stroked his cheek with her fingertips.

“Please don’t die…for me.”


	5. Through the Dense Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the immediate aftermath of the Rumbling, our crew starts to pick up the pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long gap since my last post! I kept hoping we would get some kind of clue as to how things might end when the new manga came out. Alas, Isayama is still keeping things close to his chest! So I decided to take the coward's way out and gloss over what actually happens at THE END, and start to focus on the aftermath and rebuilding, in spite of what happens in the manga over the next couple of months. It's frustrating, as I want to stay as close to canon as possible. But I also suspect that there won't be too many left alive in canon, so I might as well start veering away now. Cuz I neeeeed some people to live, in my happy little headcanon. And if you are here for the romance, it is going to be a roller coaster ride, I'm afraid.

The steam that rose from the prone bodies of colossal titans obscured the view for miles. It was as if a giant fog had rolled in to settle over the landscape, blocking out anything more than a few feet away. Even the sun was muted as great clouds of steam rose to the sky in gentle billows, borne upwards by a slight breeze. The silence was eerie after the cacophony of battle. For a moment, Leigh had the disturbing feeling that the Rumbling had succeeded and she was the only one left. Where was everyone? Looking around, she could barely make out the form of Levi on her right, but no one else. She headed toward him as he was bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily and looking like he was about to collapse. The smell of blood was thick in the air.

“You okay?” Her voice was raspy from breathing in the hot air surrounding them.

He nodded, then took a deep breath before standing up straight and turning to face her. She didn’t know how he was still standing at all. Just two days prior he couldn’t get out of bed or walk down the hall without help. And today he had been fighting like a raging beast. She could see that the front of his shirt was covered with blood, and she was pretty sure it wasn’t titan blood, but rather his own, probably from torn stitches. But it was over, thank gods. Maybe now he could rest and heal properly.

“Can you see anyone else?” Her growing desperation caused her voice to pitch higher than normal. She knew his eyesight was better than average and she was hoping for a miracle that others had survived.

He pointed farther to the right. “I saw Connie and Pieck over there, he was helping her out of her titan just as everything went to shit. Mikasa and Armin were somewhere north.” He paused to take another shaky breath as he waved his hand in a vaguely north direction. She noticed his bandages had come off his injured hand and blood was dripping steadily from the wound. She was beginning to worry that his blood loss was approaching catastrophic levels. Looking at him closely, he didn’t seem paler than usual. However, she wondered how far it was to the fort and if she could get some medical supplies for him there.

Leigh nodded at his comment, relieved. It was hopeful, at least. “Reiner? Jean? Annie?”

Levi’s expression turned grim. “I saw Annie go down somewhere to the west, and not get back up. And the last time I saw Reiner, he was in still in titan form.”

That didn’t bode well. They speculated that the shifters had to be out of their titan form when Eren was defeated or they could possibly die. But they _just didn’t know_. It was so frustrating to fight a battle where your opponent knew all the rules to the game. And probably the outcome as well.

Goddamn it! She couldn’t see anything as she turned in a circle trying to peer through the blinding steam. Visibility seemed to be getting worse and Leigh suspected the sun was starting to set, further plunging them into obscurity. She imagined roaming among the steaming corpses all night and had a brief moment of panic. Suddenly, a noise in the gloom made her stop and cock her head, trying to listen. Levi mimicked her movements. He heard it too. Very faint from behind them. Someone was cursing, vociferously. They both started running in the direction of the voice and the cursing got louder.

“Come on, you big mother fucker, come on! Don’t do this to me! You’re goddamn invincible!” The disembodied voice floated out of the steam, but the desperation carried clear in the air.

Silence.

Then, “I’ve seen you take worse, you fucking cock sucker! You’re not going out like this! This is a pussy way to go, you know!

Silence.

Levi and Leigh topped a small hill and the steam got worse, hitting them like a thick wall. It was so thick, you felt you could hold it in your hand. Sweat was streaming down Leigh’s face and her lungs were burning from the dense humidity when she stumbled over the hand of a fallen titan. She stopped abruptly as she recognized the specialized armor plating on the limb. She looked up and realized the steaming carcass was the Armored Titan. Reiner!

“You fucking goddamn hero! Why?” Leigh was close enough now to recognize the voice as belonging to Jean.

The wind shifted for a moment and cleared away some of the nearby clouds of steam, enough for her to finally spot Jean, crouched over a body lying on the ground. She briefly locked eyes with Levi and the sympathy she saw in his normally hard eyes made her heart clench. Leigh raced toward the two men, falling to her knees beside Reiner’s head.

Jean continued chest compressions, his large hands interlocked over Reiner’s inert chest as he pumped. “He was protecting me and refused to get out of his titan. Then he suddenly collapsed.” Jean’s voice was hoarse, from the steam or from yelling at the unresponsive Reiner, Leigh wasn’t sure. She watched in shock as Jean finished his series of compressions and moved to fit his mouth to Reiner’s, breathing twice, then went back to compressions. Jean’s hair was slick with sweat and his breathing was labored. She wondered how long he had been at it, trying to save the life of a man he despised. She tried to think how long it had been since the titans fell, but she had no sense of time. She wasn’t even sure what day it was at this point. “I waited to see if he would come out of the Armored after it collapsed. When he didn’t, I cut him out. He wasn’t breathing.”

This time when he paused the compressions, Leigh stopped him with her hand as she fit her mouth to Reiner’s and breathed air into his lungs. She noticed how pale he was, his normally golden skin a sickly color, his lips cold and lifeless under hers. Blood was seeping into the ground underneath him, but she didn’t have time to assess any other potential injuries.

Leigh and Jean worked tirelessly together over Reiner’s lifeless body, while Levi watched, quietly scanning the area for danger and other survivors. The wind was beginning to disperse some of the steam and Leigh heard voices as Armin and Mikasa topped the small hill and found them. Mikasa immediately moved to put her hand on Jean’s shoulder to relieve the exhausted man, when Reiner suddenly coughed violently, causing Jean to fall back, panting heavily. Everyone held their breath as Leigh cupped his face in her hands, pushing his hair back.

“Reiner! Reiner, can you hear me? Please, say something! Reiner!”

“Fuck, I can hear you. Stop shouting.” His voice was weak and scratchy, and he coughed again, his body heaving violently. Then he opened his eyes, those expressive gold eyes that were the most beautiful thing Leigh had ever seen.

“Leigh…”

He focused on her face and smiled weakly. Leigh choked back a sob as she collapsed on his chest, gripping him hard around the shoulders. He winced as his ribs were bruised, and maybe broken, from Jean’s compressions. But he wrapped a strong arm around her and held her trembling body as he looked up at the people standing nearby, bloody and exhausted, but smiling at him, genuinely glad that he was alive.

Leigh finally pulled back and glared at him as she fisted her hands in the front of his shirt.

“I told you not to die on me, goddammit!”

His befuddled mind tried to come up with a response to that. He was pretty sure he wasn’t dead as his body hurt too much. But then she leaned forward and kissed him. At the touch of her soft lips, his pain and confusion melted away and he grabbed the back of her head to kiss her back, moving his lips gently over hers.

Shocked silence descended on the group gathered around them until someone voiced the thought running through everyone’s head. “So that’s how it is.”

Leigh pulled back slightly, gently caressing Reiner’s jaw as she looked into his eyes. “Yes, that’s how it is.”

Reiner woke up in some kind of hospital room, disoriented. Shit, he hated when this happened after shifting. He closed his eyes trying to remember what happened. Jean was out of gas and Reiner was trying to shield him from the falling titans all around them. He remembered Jean screaming for him to get out of his titan. And then everything went black. Had they done it? Was it over? His head throbbed in pain as he tried to remember. He took a deep breath and realized that his ribs hurt. As he placed a hand on his chest to tenderly probed the offended ribs, he suddenly remembered Leigh’s face as she crouched over him, concern deep in her brown eyes. At the memory, he jerked upright, causing shooting pain through his chest. Yep, definitely some broken ribs. Why hadn’t they healed yet? His breath hissed between his teeth as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, working through the pain. He tried to orient himself, but his head was swimming and he felt slightly dizzy. Putting his hand to his forehead, he opened his eyes again. Looking down, he realized he was clad only in his underwear. He glanced around the room to see if he could spot his clothes somewhere. The room wasn’t a typical hospital room. There was miscellaneous medical equipment jumbled together in a corner, and a locked glass cabinet with cracked doors contained a variety of medicines all along one wall. But he could see daylight through a hole in the roof and crumbling debris littered the floor. The smell of dust hung thick in the air, as if the damage had been done recently. As he glanced around, noting the military order even through the debris of destruction, he figured out he was probably in the remnants of Fort Salta. It was then that he saw Leigh, curled up in an uncomfortable chair beside his bed, sound asleep. She began to stir at his movements, her eyes slowly opening. He noted the dark smudges under her eyes and wondered how long he had been out. He didn’t think long as his body hadn’t had a chance to heal much yet. But she looked exhausted and the bloodstained clothing she was still wearing were clearly from the battle.

Leigh ran a hand down her face, trying to clear her mind, still groggy from exhaustion. Then she glanced over at Reiner and her eyes opened wide at seeing him sitting up. She immediately unfolded from the hard chair she had been sleeping in and came to stand in front of him.

“You’re awake.” Her voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat before continuing. She placed her hand on his cheek. “How do you feel?”

“Like shit, but I’ll do. What happened? How’s everyone else?” Reiner noted that his voice was just as scratchy as hers. He gently placed his hand over hers on his cheek, pressing her touch into his skin.

At his question, and her relief at the fact that he was finally awake, Leigh closed her eyes, too overcome with emotions at everything that had happened, her whole body starting to shake. Reiner recognized the aftereffects of hard battle and pulled her in closer between his legs so he could wrap his arms around her and hold her to him, ignoring the pain in his ribs. She gripped him hard as she buried her face in his neck, breathing in his comforting scent. His hand tangled in her hair, dislodging her disordered ponytail.

As her trembling subsided, she spoke, her lips moving against the skin of his throat. “Annie didn’t make it. I’m so sorry, Reiner.”

Reiner closed his eyes as he thought of the blond woman he had known since they were children of six. She had never been personable or friendly, always keeping herself aloof. But she was a good fighter to have at your back. He squeezed his eyes tight at the guilt that threatened to overcome him, at those orders he gave so many years ago that set them all on this path, colliding against one another so violently. He fisted his hand in Leigh’s shirt at her back and pulled her tighter, causing a sharp pain in his chest. He relished the pain as his due, inducting him into the yawning hole of guilt and grief that had been his home the last few years.

Leigh, sensing his emotional spiral, pulled back and cupped his face, her thumbs stroking along his cheekbones. He wouldn’t meet her eyes and she could almost physically see him caving in on himself. “Reiner. Stop. She made her own choices. You cannot keep shouldering the responsibility of everything and everyone. We all make our own choices.”

“I was just the one who tipped the first domino.” His voice was so quiet in the disordered room.

“No you weren’t. Those dominoes were tipped way before you were even born. You just became the most recent instrument manipulated into escalating everything to a head.” After a pause, “The question now is how do we look to the future, and rebuild, without making the same mistakes?”

Reiner now looked at her intently, his golden eyes burning, as he nodded, suddenly intrigued at the thought. Could they move forward from this point and not repeat history? The possibilities starting running through Reiner’s strategic mind. He needed to talk to Armin. Leigh brought his attention back to her by stroking her hand down his throat and lightly resting her fingertips in the hollow of his neck.

“How do you feel? Does it seem like anything’s different with your titan?”

Reiner thought for a moment, searching for that shadow in the back of his mind where the Armored always lurked, even when he was human. But the shadow was gone. His face clouded with confusion. “How long have I been out?”

“Almost twenty-four hours.”

Reiner jerked back in shock. If that was the case, he should be totally healed of any injuries, and the pain currently radiating throughout his entire body was proof against that. “I’m not sure. I should be healed by now. What if it’s gone?” Reiner could hear the slight note of desperation in his voice. He had been the Armored Titan for so long, and before that, had wanted to _be_ the Armored Titan. He wasn’t sure if he could function without the Armored anymore. It was almost as much a part of him as his blond hair or the birth mark that was shaped like a horse head on his left shoulder.

Leigh ran her hand along his left arm, skimming his triceps area, and he felt a twinge of pain that grounded him back to the present. Now was not the time for his personal identity drama. Twisting his arm to investigate the source of the pain, he noticed what had clearly been a deep gash, but was now partially healed. Puzzled, he looked back at her.

“Jean said he did that when he was trying to cut you out of the Armored. It’s not completely healed, but more healed than it should be after only a day. Curious, don’t you think? Hanje will want to …” Her voice trailed off as she realized what she was about to say. Hanje was no longer here to perform her outrageously personal experiments on her fellow soldiers. She still hadn’t processed the death of her dearest friend, her sacrifice buying them much needed time back in Odiha.

At her sudden silence, Reiner pulled her back into his arms. He would like to think he was only trying to comfort her. However, the truth was that she was the only thing solid in the unknown sea he was currently floundering in. And he was terrified that he only had a tenuous grip on his mental stability right now; afraid that he was going to sink back into that gray, hazy pit where he couldn’t see past his internal pain and guilt. The fear that he would slide back into that black hole of despair hovered continuously over him. But Leigh didn’t fall apart. Instead, she slid her arms around his strong back and leaned into him, taking comfort in his presence and lending him her strength. Finally, after taking a deep breath, she pulled back slightly, still within the circle of his arms.

She cupped his face with both hands as her eyes filled with tears. “You scared me to death,” she whispered.

Reiner couldn’t speak for a moment, just gazed into her soft eyes, her concern turning them a deep velvet brown in the warm light of the room. He was overcome by the knowledge that she cared what happened to him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“For fucking your brains out? Once again, the pleasure was all mine.”

Reiner smiled at her humor, remembering this exact conversation the night before everything went to hell. Gods, it seemed so long ago. Was it just two nights ago? He remembered her words: _Please don’t die, for me_. He remembered the gentle touch of her fingertips on his face and the sweet way she smiled at him, as if he had given her a precious gift. When the truth was she gifted him with the most treasured prize: his self-worth. The smile dropped from his face as he leaned into her, cupping her face in his large hands, the softness in his voice belying his intensity, willing her to understand what he was saying.

“ _For saving my life_.”

For a moment, the words hung in the air. Leigh felt that she should point out that Jean actually saved his life. But then she realized he wasn’t really referring to chest compressions or mouth-to-mouth breathing. He was talking about his will to live. She touched his face, locking her gaze with hers.

“ _Always._ ”

She leaned in to touch her lips softly to his. The kiss started as a warm declaration of devotion. But as soon as their lips made contact, fire ignited between them, and she became aware of her position, close between his thighs, the heat of his nearly naked body enveloping her in a seductive warmth. She forgot the aches and pains of her own body, remnants of the grueling battle and sleeping in an uncomfortable chair. She forgot the devastation outside the walls of the fort, the death of friends and comrades. It was easy to forget the rest of the world outside this dusty room when Reiner’s soft lips were moving over hers, his beard prickling the tender skin of her face. As she opened to his demanding tongue and he plundered her mouth aggressively, she felt his hand drift down her back to cup her bottom and pull her up against the hard evidence of his arousal. She groaned as her hands roamed the muscular planes of his back. Leigh was so lost in the feel of his warm lips and hard body that she was unaware of placing one knee on the bed beside his thigh as she started climbing on the bed with him. With her desire fogged brain, her intent wasn’t quite clear, but resulted in her body positioned over his hard thigh, which he wickedly flexed and rubbed against her core. She groaned again as she pressed closer to him.

So lost were they both in their private sensual web that they didn’t hear the door to Reiner’s hospital room fly open.

“Reiner! I was so worried!” The feminine voice had a Marleyan accent that filled the heated silence of the room.

At the sound of his name, Reiner jerked back as if struck by lightning.

“Mother!”

Karina Braun was brought up short by the sight of her nearly naked son in the arms of a strange woman. It was clear by the compromising position of the woman half sprawled across Reiner’s lap and the large hand he had on her bottom as he held her pressed against his groin in a sexually aggressive manner that she had interrupted something a mother was not meant to see. His tight boxer briefs left nothing to the imagination.

At the sound of Reiner’s voice, Leigh regained her wits. _Mother?_ She pulled back off his lap, but he still gripped her tightly so she couldn’t retreat too far. She glanced at the slack-jawed disbelief on his face.

“What…How?…We thought Liberio was destroyed?” He stuttered as he tried to reconcile what he was seeing with the knowledge that the Rumbling had destroyed Liberio, and with it, his family. Or so he thought.

His mother made her way farther into the room. Her eyes fell to Leigh’s hand that was currently gripping Reiner’s bare thigh in a familiar manner.

“Mr. Leonhardt managed to secure a train that took us away from Liberio and to Fort Salta ahead of the Rumbling. We saw the whole battle. Oh gods, Reiner! I was so terrified for you. I am so sorry for everything.” Her voice was tight with an emotion Reiner couldn’t name.

Leigh finally managed to break away from Reiner as Karina rushed forward to embrace her son. It was clear that Reiner was still trying to process everything as Karina wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight to her.

“Oh my son! I am so glad you are okay!” The desperation in her voice was painful to hear.

Reiner loosely wrapped his arms around her as he discreetly moved the hospital blanket across his lap. “It’s okay, Mother. I’m here and I’m fine.” He tried to reassuringly pat her on the shoulder.

After a moment, Karina came to her senses and backed away, touching his cheek. Leigh had managed to find Reiner’s clothes and tried to discreetly set them beside him on the bed and slide away, not wanting to intrude, but the movement caught his eye and he grabbed her hand.

“Mother, I want you to meet Leigh Strahan. She was part of the team that bravely fought to bring the Rumbling to an end.”

Leigh smiled at the older woman, already knowing this was going to be difficult, but hoping for the best. “I’m so happy to meet you.”

Karina regarded the younger woman with a cold gaze, as she glanced from her son to Leigh. “You’re from the island?” It was said in a frozen tone that clearly conveyed her feelings for those ‘island devils’.

Leigh slid a knowing gaze to Reiner. “Yes, I’m from Paradis.” She tried to keep her voice as pleasant as possible, for Reiner’s sake.

“Did you know my son from before?” Karina’s tone was almost accusatory. Leigh really couldn’t blame her, considering Reiner’s age back then. Apparently it was fine to send your pre-pubescent son off to commit mass murder at a young age, but heaven forbid he have any sexual experiences when he’s seventeen. Leigh was tempted to tell Karina what life was really like for these young people in the Corps, when the mortality rate was over fifty percent, and they grabbed what happiness and pleasure they could before they died. 

“Yes, I knew Reiner when he was previously a member of the Survey Corps.” Leigh purposefully refrained from talking about his time on the island as a ‘Marleyan Mission’.

“Perhaps you’re part of the reason his mission failed.” Ironically, Leigh was more incensed at the implication that Reiner would compromise his ‘mission’ over a woman, rather than the thinly veiled accusation that Leigh had led her son astray. 

“Mother!”

The awkward conversation was interrupted by a high pitched female screech.

“Reiner!!”

Leigh and Reiner looked over in time to see Gabi come flying through the door and hurl herself at Reiner. Leigh moved quickly and managed to intercept the enthusiastic teen in a large embrace before she barreled into the injured Reiner.

“Careful, Gabi. He’s injured.” Leigh looked up in time to see a man and woman dressed in wrinkled, travel-stained clothes, similar to Karina, come through the door. Gabi’s parents.

“Hey Leigh!” Gabi gave her a quick embrace, but then looked confused. “Injured? Hasn’t he healed?”

Reiner spoke up. “I may not have the Armored any more. I haven’t healed like I normally do. It’s possible that when Eren was defeated, he took all the titans with him, somehow.” He tried to sound confident, but a note of uncertainty crept into his voice.

“Not have the Armored anymore?!” Karina’s voice took on a high pitched, desperate quality. “What do you mean? What does that mean for us? What happens to us if you’re not a Warrior anymore?”

Leigh’s heart broke at the way Reiner’s shoulders slumped in defeat. Was he nothing to these people if he was no longer a weapon of war? Even to his own mother? Gods, it was a miracle he had survived this long if this was the support he got from his family. She briefly thought of her ‘family’ in the Corps: they fought and bickered, sometimes passionately, but they were always there for each other when needed. She remembered Hanje and Levi picking all the broken pieces of her soul off the floor and putting her back together after Erwin died. Quietly clenching her jaw, Leigh moved to Reiner’s side and slid her hand along his bare back as she dropped a kiss on his shoulder, his mother be damned. He looked up at her and the total lack of expression on his face told her more than she needed to know. Determined to let him know that he had at least one person in his lonely little corner with him, she smiled into his eyes as she leaned close to him.

“You going to get dressed, shifter, or are you going to just sit there tempting me?” she whispered to him.

He smiled a little at her suggestive comment, choosing to ignore the fact that his family was watching them intently.

“I don’t think you can call me that anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter to me. You’ll always be my sexy shifter.” She dropped another kiss on his warm shoulder. “I’m going to leave you in the loving arms of your, uh, family, so I can go get cleaned up.”

He seemed to compose himself as he sat up straighter, then nodded at her with a wry look as she pulled away. She touched her hand tenderly to Gabi’s face. “See you, sunshine.” Then she nodded to the other adults in the room and walked out, taking a deep breath as she crossed the threshold. Damn, that could have gone better.

For a moment, silence settled in the room after Leigh’s exit. Then all eyes turned back to Reiner.

“Who is that woman?” The strident tone in his mother’s voice screeched along Reiner’s nerves. But he tried to collect his patience. It had to of been harrowing for his mother to watch the battle from the cliffs of the fort. He took a deep breath.

“I told you – “

But Karina wouldn’t let him finish. Her panic at the thought that he was no longer a Warrior, that their family would lose honor, turned to anger. “Is she the reason you failed on Paradis?”

“What?!” Reiner tried to follow her train of thought. However, unlike Leigh, he was unable to make the implied connection between Leigh and the failed Paradis mission, especially since it was so far from the truth. And _Gods_ , he was tired of everyone referring to the Paradis mission as _his_ failure alone. He could feel his anger bubbling to the surface and he leaned his head back, looking at the ceiling to try to rein in his feelings.

“Were you involved with her back then? Perhaps – “

“Enough!” Reiner’s voice cracked like a whip through the thick tension in the room and everyone jumped. Karina’s mouth snapped shut and she looked at her son in disbelief. His aunt and uncle also looked shocked at his outburst. The only one not really surprised was Gabi as she had seen Reiner in action in battle and on the front lines with scared troops under his command. He knew how to lead men, how to bring unruly, frightened soldiers into line, and how to command respect. He had a gift. Gabi secretly thought it was amusing to see it worked on his mother as well.

Reiner picked up the shirt Leigh had lain beside him. For a brief moment, he wondered how it was clean. He shrugged it on, trying not to wince, but didn’t bother to button it, needing some kind of shield between himself and his mother, and right now the flimsy cotton was the best he could do. He felt too raw and exposed. His head was swimming with pain and thoughts tumbled over themselves chaotically. Was it really over? Was his titan really gone? Did that mean the Curse was gone as well? What did they do now? Who was he if not a Warrior anymore? And what about Leigh? He wished she was still here, her presence soothing to his frayed nerves and disordered mind.

Karina Braun started at the harsh sound of her son’s voice. He had never spoken to her that way before. She watched him warily as he got off the bed and unselfconsciously pulled on the trousers the woman had left for him, struck anew at the large man he had grown to be. She could tell by his movements he was in pain and she wanted to go to him. But she was afraid he had come back to her yet again another stranger. Every time he left, he came back a stranger. He had left for the island still a little boy and came back a young man whose mind was broken. Then he left for the Mid East war and came back from that a man full grown but with something still eating away at his soul. She wondered who he was now. He was a stranger who had spent most of his life away from her and she didn’t really know him at all. And how much of that was her fault?

The tension in the room was so thick and Karina so lost in her own thoughts that she had forgotten her brother and his family were there.

“Aunt Karina, Miss Leigh fought hard beside all of us to stop the rumbling. She saved Reiner’s life.” Gabi sought to heal the breach for her cousin.

But before anyone had a chance to respond to Gabi, the door to the room opened again. Armin walked in, but halted when he saw the group of strangers assembled.

“Sorry, Reiner. I don’t mean to interrupt but Leigh said you were awake. We are having a conference in Levi’s room and I’d really like you to be there so I could hear your input. We have a lot to sort out before meeting with what’s left of Marley military command.” Armin managed to give a friendly smile to everyone in spite of the lines of grief and exhaustion carved into the youthful skin around his eyes and mouth.

Reiner looked up from shoving his feet into his boots, not able to hide the surprise on his face at being asked to attend Armin in counsel. Warriors were accustomed to doing as they were told, putting their lives on the line when ordered, not asked for their opinion. Occasionally the brass would ask Zeke, but they rarely listened. Reiner felt something move in his chest at the thought that Armin clearly felt Reiner was part of his team instead of assuming he would side with Marley military command, of which he was still technically a member. He wasn’t naïve and was aware that he could provide Armin and the rest with invaluable insight to Marley command and that was likely why he was asked to attend, but he couldn’t deny the excited feeling that sprouted at Armin including him in the collected ‘we’. This was his chance to work on something productive, not devoting what was left of his life to war and destruction. He felt his heart lighten at the prospect and a warm glow that could only be described as _hope_ was born.

“I’ll be there.” Gold eyes locked with blue and both men nodded, before Armin ducked back out the door. Reiner finished buttoning his shirt and grabbed his belt as he headed toward the door.

“Reiner – “, his mother beseeched him, hand extended in his direction, wanting to somehow mend the widening gap, but afraid it was too late. Maybe years too late.

“Sorry, Mother. I’ve got to go.” He nodded to her and his aunt and uncle, as he kept out of her reach. He paused for a moment in front of Gabi, gently touching her on the cheek. “Be good, brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, I'm not a fan of Karina Braun. I understand her fear, insecurity, anger at Reiner's dad, etc. But it's hard to forgive the way she used her son, seemingly without any personal concern for him and what he was going through. And the casual way his whole family talks about how happy they will be for Gabi to inherit the Armored really crawls under my skin. So some of that may have leaked out here. Sorry, not sorry.


End file.
